Masturbating as a couple: taboo or opportunity?

Masturbating while in a relationship has, for a long time, been a controversial thing. As if being in a relationship implied giving up one's own sexuality. And precisely, we know that masturbation is healthy, just as getting to know yourself and maintaining your own sexuality is.

Today I'm not here to talk about whether masturbating while in a relationship is okay or if it can be considered infidelity (which, in case it wasn't clear, for me is a debate that shouldn't even exist). What I'm interested in talking about is masturbating with your partner.

As we well know – even if it's very difficult for us to understand socially – sex is not reduced to penetration. There are many other practices, genital and non-genital, that can provide us with as much or more pleasure and that we often set aside because they are not part of our erotic imagination. And I believe that one of the greatly forgotten is precisely masturbation within a couple. And I'm referring to both mutual masturbation and doing it together, each with their own genitals.

Mutual masturbation is associated with more sexual satisfaction and, despite this, only about half of couples practice it. And it has many benefits. Beyond creating a situation that can help us break out of routine and usual practices, it allows us to observe our partner, understand what they like, how they like it, and learn from it. But it can also help us discover things about ourselves.

Furthermore, it brings us closer to a more conscious, more curious sexuality, less conditioned by the usual sexual script. A script that often makes us think that sex consists of doing things to the other person, when it can also consist of looking at them, listening to them, and getting to know them.

Perhaps we should stop thinking of masturbation as an alternative to sex and start understanding it as another way to share it.