How do we relate to our bodies as we get older?

We have been sold a very limited idea of sex. We have been made to believe that a good sex life depends on an erection, on penetration, or on reaching orgasm in a certain way. But reality is much richer than all that.

As we get older, the body changes. Menopause, erectile dysfunction, less mobility, less lubrication, or less energy may appear. And too often we interpret these changes as the end of sexual life. But perhaps what is ending is not sex, but a very specific way of understanding it.

Because I'm tired of saying it, but sex goes far beyond penetration. And, even, far beyond the genitals.

There is a whole dimension that we often leave in the background: sensuality. Long caresses, glances, kisses, hugs, massages, flirting... Everything that makes us feel desired even before we undress.

And without forgetting eroticism either. Another concept that is often confused with sensuality. By eroticism I mean play, kink. A conversation that turns us on, a shared fantasy, a way of looking, an improvised dance in the living room, or rediscovering one's own body with curiosity.

And it is that, far from everything we have been learning for years, sensuality and eroticism are the basis of good sex, not genitality. That is why, even though with the years our body may not allow us to have the same sexual relations as we had in our thirties, it does not mean they have to be worse. On the contrary, it can be an opportunity to stop pursuing a single model of sex and discover a much broader, creative, and conscious one.