Víctor Borràs Gasch: Sometimes, a silence is the best question if you want them to explain something to you

One of the most surprising things that has happened to us as a family is that our son Artur was a choirboy at Montserrat. This is something that was not in our plans at all. When he was eight years old, one day he told us that he wanted to be a choirboy. The first thing we thought was that some of his grandparents, all very devoted to La Moreneta, had filled his head. But no. No? How was it, then?

— For months he had heard the Escolania sing and had continued to investigate and watch videos. Finally, he told us he wanted to be one of them. Perhaps we could have dismissed it with a no, but we listened, we informed ourselves, we reflected on it, and Artur ended up being a choirboy for five surprising and unique years that now seem incredible to us and have left us with a great family memory.

You became a father quite young, didn't you?

— Yes. Maria and I were, looked at with the eyes of our time, very young when we had children. This gave us a lot of energy, more courage than fear and more intuition than preconceptions. This process of discovering and reflecting as things happened, I think it still happens to us now. We try to be close, to listen, to share worries, to show our own imperfections and to act as best we know how. It is always a job to know how to find your place as a father.

Especially now, that they are big.

— The fact that a more daily dependency relationship has been set aside does not mean that the bond does not exist and that you cannot continue to play your role. There was a time, last year, when Artur left to study in Barcelona, when there were no longer children at home. It was suddenly strange because we had been living with children for more than twenty years, then adolescents, and finally young adults; and the change was surprising. But, like everything, it is a stage and now the surprise is enjoyed. You never know how many of us there will be, who will come, or when they will leave. Currently, our refrigerator is that of two people who are approaching 50 and trying to take care of themselves. Sometimes, when the children arrive, the alarms go off and one or the other has to run to the supermarket.

Children continue to have this precious talent for dismantling their parents' lives.

— The beauty of this stage is that they don't ask for much, but you have to know how to be there, intuit, propose. Obviously, you don't want to be invasive, but the idea is that they know they can count on you, and I think they're clear about that. Sometimes, silence is the best question if you want them to explain something to you.

How have you been helping them decide what they wanted to do?

— In general, I have tried to take the pressure off the decision itself. I was fortunate enough to be able to study theater and for them not to put obstacles in my way despite the doubts it generated. Therefore, I have always trusted their decisions and intuitions. It is true that at home we have tried to greatly value the fact of being able to study and train as part of a vital stage that allows it and helps to grow. None of them had a very clear idea of what they wanted to study after high school, but they have all found their way. It is true that in some cases we have had to help a little more in the analysis of options, but in the end the decision has always been theirs and, fortunately, they are now well on their way.

Are the two big ones already working?

— Yes, they are already working in their fields. Laia has already become independent – I don't know if it's a bad influence from her parents, but she's already autonomous – and I am convinced that Joana will be a great professional in social education. In fact, she already is because the day after finishing her internship, she was still in the same place, but being paid.

Do you still do a lot of taxi work?

— We live in a town and now only the youngest one doesn't have the license yet. Although he is getting it. Therefore, being a taxi driver is ending. Over the years we have taken many car trips that have served us to talk. Talking is the best way to be there and to help.

Remind me of a special moment of your life together.

— In the spring of 2020, Maria and I didn't cook for a single day. At that time of confinement, it seemed to us that delegating the cooking task to those adolescents of 12, 15, and 17 years old could be a way to keep them busy in many ways. It was a success and one of the most missed things from those strange days.