Bego Prados: "We went through many types of fears when expanding the family"

From the moment of birth, Jone needed me but in a disconcerting way, very different from anything I had imagined.See that your baby does not need you.

— This feeling was described by Eustacia Cutler, mother of the world's most famous autistic person, Temple Grandin. Her testimony captivated me because I felt the same way with my daughter. It is a loneliness very difficult to understand if you have not lived it.

In the book you talk about 'apocalyptic tears'.

— Crowded or noisy places can be very stressful because their way of processing information is different. Expert Nancy Minshew says it is "as if all the planes arrived at the airport at the same time." When Jone was little, explosions were the way to communicate, to unload a knot of sensations. Fortunately, these atomic reactions are a thing of the past, although, with adolescence, new challenges appear.

As now?

— Her anxiety has increased because changes can be difficult for her to incorporate. She is not like any typical teenager we can imagine. Beyond that, we are concerned to see how the administration - also in Switzerland - neglects autistic people. Jone is about to finish compulsory education and we still don't know what her destiny will be after the summer. We don't know if she will be able to access an adapted educational plan or if she will have to stay at home.

At what age was she diagnosed?

— At three years old. The diagnosis was important because, finally, we had a starting point, a new path to take. But it was also frustrating because we saw the system's neglect. The diagnosis was an obstacle to his access to ordinary public school. And, once inside, we never had the certainty of having a place in the classroom the following year. At a time when we saw no light, the diagnosis, beyond the adversities, helped us to draw a horizon as a family.

At 5 years old, Jone had a brother.

— When I became a mother again, I fully understood how different my daughter was because my son interacted with me in a way I had never experienced, in many ways, it was rehabilitating and opened a new chapter for Jone.

A new stage that includes a third child.

— We went through many types of fears when expanding the family. Autism, despite being multifactorial, has a hereditary component. The possibility of autism recurring is real. Be that as it may, we made the decision. Galo is a new lesson. In terms of family dynamics, it has created new situations. A whole daily collection of anecdotes that is now our life. Endless fights included! I remember one day my brother Asier, looking at my children, told me: Bego, you have a cat, a dog, and a duck.

I love it.

— Each creature is different and each family is a world. Jone is not that older sister who would tell you a story. She can play with you, but, at times, she can also make your life impossible. The relationship between the three siblings works in a different framework and it's curious how, despite this, they develop their particular way of relating and loving each other. At home we have conflicts, but also many conversations.

You have explained many things about Jone. Tell me an anecdote about the little ones now.

— We still travel like in the eighties, by car, listening to music and chatting. Last summer, on the way to Croatia, on the Italian highway and about to make yet another stop, Corso solemnly announced that he had lost his slipper. He told us that, most likely, it had fallen off at the last service area, before closing the door because he was trying not to lose any Pokémon cards, of which he has a million.

Hey! Don't fuck with me, Corso!

— My husband and I, used to bigger disasters, told him we could only solve it by making him a slipper with a beach towel. And then the magic happened. Jone let out some laughter that left us all perplexed and, right after, we all burst out laughing. That connection so authentic and that you feel like a treasure when it happens. By the way, it appeared buried under a million Pokémon cards.