Because there was an alert and she was working from home today, the comedy writer saw on TV that the new mayor of New York, Zohran Mamdani, will be the first Muslim to govern the city. She looked at the letters, yellow with red trim, so... Pulp Fictionwhich have helped to raise his profile in the campaign. Now, on Melero's program, they say he met his wife, a visual artist with straight bangs, on "Halal Tinder."
Halal Tinder. He pours himself a coffee with a drop of milk while thinking about her. He didn't know there was a Tinder for Muslims, and he didn't know it was called... halalWow. She laughs and chuckles, thinking of the joke, but she knows she can't do it. Tinder halal, clever. You have the right to promiscuity, within reason. She runs her hand over her forehead and sits down at the computer. No, no. The joke she's been thinking about, the one she should get out, wouldn't fit right, because, as they say, "the bad stuff stays out of the womb." She can't do it, but... What if she does?
She gets up and goes to the locker that serves as her pantry. There's a partially opened bag of potato chips, covered with a spreader needle, and a can of olives. In the fridge, she has an ancestral (a type of Spanish pastry) to start with. It's 12 o'clock, time for vermouth. She pours the coffee down the sink. She takes the cap off the bottle and pours herself a glass. She peels a potato from the bag. She puts an olive in her mouth and sucks, above all, to eat the flesh.
She breathes. He sits back down at the computer. Now he has to write, as elegantly as possible, that on Christian Tinder, when having sex, one uses the expression: "I'll make you face Cuenca." And that on halal Tinder, with the same purpose, one would say: "I'll make you face Mecca." He aborts a little bit and bursts out laughing, happy.
