Christmas and the messages on the other WhatsApp

A dear friend who lost his wife this year told me that he could bear the loneliness but was finding it very difficult to overcome her absence. He said he knew how to manage on his own, that he could successfully cope with both an unexpected Wi-Fi outage and a recipe for fricandó, but that he was saddened by not being able to argue with her or ask for her opinion. The fact that what had once been constant exchanges had turned into silence was what he found hardest of all.

And yet, in our inner dialogue we have conversations with those who are no longer hereSometimes we even go so far as to ask their opinion on what we do or what happens to us, as if we could bring their past perspectives or personalities into the present.

These impossible dialogues explode at Christmas. Because it seems incredible how, no matter how many years pass, these dates arrive and we project the images of Christmases past, when we went through life with the simple titles of children or grandchildren. Perhaps the younger ones don't realize it, but these days the internal WhatsApp chat with those who are no longer with us is buzzing with messages. Because there's always so much to talk about. About who will come and who won't, whether we're in the mood this year or really looking forward to it, about the family failures and successes that will inevitably come up, about the recurring arguments that were left unresolved and that we haven't forgotten. But, above all, about how much we miss them and how we'll remember them when we raise our glasses. Merry Christmas.