How to overcome childhood fears?

BarcelonaFears—of loud noises, separation from parents, strangers, animals, darkness, being alone, imaginary beings, self-harm, death, thieves, natural phenomena, academic failure, social rejection—commonly emerge throughout childhood. "Some develop in a normal way, appearing and disappearing as the child grows and matures," says Maria Taló, a child and adolescent psychologist at the Sant Joan de Déu Hospital in Barcelona. She also reminds us that having fears during childhood and adolescence is completely normal and should not cause concern.

What are these fears due to?

"Fear is a natural, adaptive, and healthy emotion, just like all others. Its function is to protect us from danger and ensure our survival," explains Taló. It arises in the early stages due to a combination of evolutionary, psychological, and environmental factors. "Evolutionary fears, such as the fear of separation from parents or strangers, have a protective function and foster bonding with attachment figures. Others, such as the fear of the dark or animals, have an instinctive basis related to survival." Talón emphasizes that as children grow, they develop their imagination and may experience fears related to fantastical beings, such as monsters, because they still have difficulty differentiating fantasy from reality. They can also develop fears as a result of past experiences, such as a bad experience with a dog, or due to the influence of their environment due to frightening stories or content.

Could it be that families have unconsciously passed on these fears to them?

Since children learn a lot through imitation, if a family member shows fear or anxiety about certain situations, such as flying, they may adopt these same fears. "Furthermore, a very overprotective family may prevent the child from exposing themselves to new experiences that involve risk, such as playing sports or going out with friends, which can increase their fear of independence and newness." Talón points out that fears can also be transmitted through family stories. If a family talks a lot about dangerous situations, accidents, or potential dangers, the child may develop greater concern about certain situations.

How can families help them overcome them?

According to Talón, it's essential not to scold them, ridicule them, or force them to overcome their fear suddenly. It's necessary to validate their feelings and explain that being afraid is normal in some situations. "Listen to them patiently, talk about what worries them, and help them deal with their fear gradually and progressively." It's important to encourage them to take small steps toward improvement, reinforcing each step they make. Support and positive reinforcement are key to helping them overcome their fears at their own pace.

Is communication important in this process?

As Talón points out, it's essential. At home, it's necessary to create an environment where children feel heard. Talking about emotions openly, without ridiculing or ignoring them, is crucial to helping them understand what they're experiencing and learn to manage it. "And let's not forget to act as role models. If adults talk about their emotions, children and adolescents will find it easier to identify, validate, and manage them through their experiences."

What to do if fears don't go away and persist over time?

If fears interfere with your daily life, persist intensely, and cause significant discomfort, it is necessary to seek professional help.