Toni Mata: "Don't buy a self-help book, have a child"

Many parents do not talk about money with their children because they are not very happy with what they do to earn it. Surely it is not what they had projected for their lives and, in this renunciation, there is a kind of shame. This often makes them not want to talk about money, seeing it as something dirty that has forced them to betray their lives.Wow, I had never looked at it that way.

— But money is an essential good, like water or electricity, that we need to live. Talking about it and making them understand that we have to find the most pleasant way to earn money, is essential to turn our children into functional adults.

A The center of the world portrays a girl worried about money. What relationship is your older daughter beginning to have with money?

— Paula, like Anaïs, is a brave girl. Both are girls who are not shy in the face of difficulties. Anaïs is learning to save. She is extraordinarily careful with money and, before asking us for anything, she thinks if it is necessary for her. She is very aware of the value of money.

Children, very easily, catch their parents' economic worries.

— Parents think we should avoid these worries for our children, but they are not stupid. If you are anxious about something, they don't miss it. Therefore, it's better to talk about it and let them understand how it all works. We try to plan as much as we can to avoid surprises, and this is also a learning experience for them.

I see young people who decide that when they grow up they want to have a lot of money, no matter how.

— I, rather, observe a certain hopelessness. Young people are materialistic because we live in an extremely materialistic society. I do see an urge to look for shortcuts. And there's nothing wrong with that, everyone tries. What happens is that shortcuts are sometimes dangerous and can lead you to make bad decisions.

Years ago you told me a great phrase: "Don't buy a self-help book, have a child".

— Frame it, I give it to you. That's how it is. When you have a child, you leave the nonsense behind and everything that seemed so important to you becomes anecdotal. Children are like energy drinks, they wake you up.

What skill have you gained that you should put on your resume?

— Having children should be a point in favor in any job interview because it trains you in crisis management. You also gain capacity and speed in problem-solving. Being a father forces you to sort out your priorities. It has helped me because work affected me too much. If I didn't achieve what I considered success, I felt frustrated. In fact, I now realize that I didn't know how to enjoy the successes I had enough. The dynamic as a father forces you to do everything you need to be a happy person.

The relationship with children is often a power relationship. Do you consider yourself authoritarian?

— Being authoritarian has a negative connotation that we associate with dictators. And no, for my children, I am an authority, but I am also a clown, I also listen to them, I also play with them, I also hug them. There is time for everything and it is a mistake to deny that parents must be authority figures for our children.

When do you impose yourself?

— Both Anaïs and Glauc, like all siblings, have tantrums and arguments over any trifle, but their only option is to accept their parents' authority and we must assert ourselves without feeling bad. This doesn't mean you have to start shouting continuously. Creative ways to assert yourself must be found.

Tell me a case.

— This happened yesterday. My son, like many others, is very insistent about football. It was the middle of the day and we had to go grocery shopping. He started saying no and no and no, that he wanted to play football. I love playing football with him, but when the work is done and you're not sweating in the heat. He threw a terrible tantrum that forced me to find a creative solution. We went to play football and I told him that whoever reached ten goals first would get the League sticker album he is collecting. I started playing for real and when I was winning 4-0 he suggested that maybe it would be a good idea to go grocery shopping.