The dangers of geolocating children

BarcelonaThe geolocation of children has spread in recent years as a very common practice among families, especially those who have preteens and adolescents at home who use a mobile phone. There are also many parents who, reluctant to give a mobile phone to their son or daughter, have opted for digital watches that also allow them to be geolocated, permanently or on specific occasions. Even families with younger children use other types of location devices (such as AirTags) when they go with them to crowded events such as concerts, parades, or local festivals.

But why do families geolocate their children? According to psychologist, psychotherapist, and writer Elisenda Pasqual, this practice fundamentally stems from the fear of families. In a society where there are increasingly more rules and citizen control systems, she says, this translates into parenting. Along the same lines, psychologist, sexologist, and couples therapist Elena Crespi asserts that we are living at a peak moment of the culture of fear, fueled by classist and racist discourses that "many families buy into." "From there, there is an industry that gets rich at the expense of our vulnerability," she adds. Irene Montiel, psychologist, criminologist, and professor at the UOC, also sees an influence of marketing in this. "There is a part of unfounded fear that technology companies have sold us."

Faced with this fear, there are many families who feel safer using a location system for their children. But the experts warn that locating children is not harmless, and for this reason, they invite parents to reflect on it. "As adults, we must consider what message we want to convey to our children," suggests Montiel.

“We saw a very excessive use of geolocation around us and this realization led us to reflect on how we wanted to do it in our family,” explains Maribel, who has a 16-year-old daughter and a 14-year-old son. The boy does not have a mobile phone yet, but the girl does, without social media and with parental control. “I heard about mothers who geolocated their children and that scared me; it was not the way we wanted to accompany her,” says this mother, who decided not to do it to “protect her freedom and privacy,” something she remembers she valued a lot during her own teenage years.

For this reason, they spoke with their daughter and agreed that they would only use geolocation in case of an emergency, and that she would call them whenever there were changes or if she needed anything. “We preferred to work with her based on trust and agree on a series of basic rules,” declares Maribel, who reveals that for the moment it is working very responsibly and that this leaves them very calm as parents.

Normalizing control measures

The consequence of parents geolocating them is that children often normalize this practice. “Young people have it totally normalized. When you apply critical thinking and question them about whether it is optimal or not to do it, they tell you it is normal. They perceive it as a matter of security, even as a proof of love, not as a measure of control.” This is what Crespi extracts from his experience in workshops with adolescents.

And this means that they are normalizing situations that are sometimes the first steps of intimate partner violence. According to Montiel, studies on intimate partner violence among adolescents, both nationally and internationally, confirm that the vast majority of situations involve cybercontrol, among which is the demand to share passwords or location. “This is a type of harassment that occurs within the context of a relationship that is skyrocketing among young people: more than 60% of adolescents, both boys and girls, admit to making them and receiving them because they have understood that this is the way to relate to the person you love or who loves you.”

In this sense, the psychologist and criminologist calls on families to reflect. “How do I explain to my daughter that this is not a form of love but of control and limitation of freedom if I am doing it myself?”, she asks. Montiel does not deny that it can be useful to geolocate children in exceptional situations, but she does see dangers in turning it into a habit. “I am not saying that you should not do it if your child has to take a three-hour trip alone, but in the day-to-day going to and from school, it may not be necessary.”

Setting limits

Elisenda Pasqual also believes that the debate is not about the tool, but about how we use it and the limits we set on it. According to her, geolocation can be useful at specific moments to help build trust. However, she recommends "explaining well to minors why it is used, telling them that we will use the tool to look after them and also to take care of our own fears, that we do it for ourselves and not because the world is evil." And, above all, she is clear that once both parties are located, it should be phased out.

Àngela has a 13-year-old son and a six-year-old daughter. She and her partner had always been very reluctant to give their children a mobile phone, but when the eldest started high school, he had to go to a center in another town and they thought it would be useful for him to have one to be able to stay in contact. "But the device came with rules regarding its use and time," she says. And also with parental control. "The tool we use has the option to geolocate and we thought it could be useful for us at some moments," explains Àngela.

"We spoke with him and explained that we wouldn't use it to have him geolocated at all times, but only in case of an emergency or if he got lost,” he adds. So far, they have only used it a couple or three times when their son had gotten lost, such as the first time he had to go from school to his aunt's house for lunch or when he went on a trip with an extracurricular activity, they were on their way to pick him up and he didn't know how to give them the coordinates of the place where he was well.

“We must use digital tools with the goal of building and not controlling. If we normalize the control of those we love and who love us and we don't review it and make agreements, we give the image that whoever loves us will have to control us,” comments Pasqual, who states that adolescents will look for love based on the register of love they have seen at home: “If as a daughter I have always received conditional love, tomorrow when someone does that to me, my alarms won't go off. I might even choose that because it is what I know.”

Also among groups of friends

However, control among adolescents does not only occur within the scope of a relationship. It is becoming increasingly common for groups of friends, especially girls, to share their location. Sometimes they do this when they go out alone because they prefer to be geolocated by their friends rather than by their family. But at other times, geolocation is established as something permanent because, in this way, they feel closer together. Beyond the concept of friendship, Montiel sees a matter of identity construction in this. “Nowadays, it seems that young people have to post on social media all the time because, if they don’t, they are nobody. This generation creates identity based on what is on social media about themselves. And sharing geolocation with friends is one more extension of this problem”.

Experts encourage families to be role models, not to overprotect children and young people, and to work with them on concepts such as intimacy, privacy, autonomy, boundaries, or self-esteem. And, as an alternative to the use of geolocation, we can opt for more community-based strategies: getting to know our children's surroundings, building a network of adults.

And also, instead of turning children and young people into passive subjects who can do nothing but be permanently geolocated, trust them and give them the opportunity to earn our trust and learn skills to move around and respond to situations they may encounter. “We must return to the basics: explain to them that, if they get lost, they can go into a shop or look for another mother to explain that they are lost, we can have them learn our phone number and home address...”, concludes Elena Crespi.