This summer, go topless and throw your fan at anyone who laughs at you.

Activity 1. The beach. Do topless. Try it if you've never done it before. Seriously. Do it even if you think your breasts are saggy, small, flat, fat, ugly. The day you do it, you'll see that once you've taken off your bikini top, oh, what a coincidence, many women follow you. You'll feel like a union leader, but a good one, not one of those union leaders who don't see the point of striking on March 8th... Besides, in many public pools, it was prohibited to do so. topless until recently and it's quite funny to see the scared faces of so many users when you do.

Activity 2. Stanislavski Method. Get sudden hoarseness every time you have to organize a dinner, a meal, a picnic or the logistics of a weekend with friends or family and you notice that, oh, what a coincidence, only women take on the challenge. Make the sudden hoarseness turn into lower back pain once you're in place and, oh, what a coincidence, once again it's only women who pronounce the big words: "Let's see, let's start setting the table/clearing the table/cooking/washing dishes/etc."

Activity 3. Let's party. At the biggest parties, vomit in the middle of the dance floor every time the tent or mobile disco plays a reggaeton with unbearable lyrics that mixes the concepts "ass", "I'm going to give you", "boom, boom, boom" or similar words. Do the same with the hits from all eras from the fifties to the present day who try to swallow us down by singing concepts like "I can't live without you", "dying of love", "I need you" and, oh, what a coincidence, it's not a song dedicated to oxygen.

Activity 4. Recitation. When you have no choice but to share a table with your sister's boyfriend, who is an Antoniu dressed as a hipster who constantly says "honey, can you bring me a beer, an IPA, not one of the others" and doesn't get up from his chair, program your brain to pronounce these words every two minutes: patriarchy, vagina, clitoris, misogyny, scrotum. Have fun every time the man makes a disgusted face and insists. When he gets up to get the beer himself so he doesn't have to listen to you, have even more fun.

Activity 5. Crafts. Carry a small axe and a bottle of hot glue in your bag. Every time you go to make a vermouth or a frying pan and see that the sign for the baby changing station is only located in the women's restroom, don't think twice: make the axe on the sign and change it in the men's restroom. And if the sign for the women's restroom shows a woman from the last century in a floor-length dress, use the axe anyway.

Activity 6. Psychomotor skills. If you have hot flashes due to menopause and, on top of that, have to endure the heat, get a fan with lead ribs. Every time someone makes a funny comment about the subject, make your fan arm shoot out and land on the joker's nose. Explain that menopause tore the nerve in your wrist and you're really sorry. Don't be.

Have a good summer. Feminists, whether we're on vacation or not, deserve it.