There are people born to scold others, and there are people born to be scolded by others. I am (perhaps like many of you) one of the scolded. It seems that the more power or property we are given, or that we grant ourselves, the more argumentative we become. The more polite we are, the more argumentative we become. Do we hire an accountant to help us with the bills? They'll scold us about the bills. Do we go to a restaurant that we pay exorbitant prices for, and we're not very hungry or we're very hungry? The waiter will give us a hard time. If we take a taxi so we can get somewhere quickly, the taxi driver will scold us for not taking things slowly. Except for the lady at Google Maps, everyone scolds us.
Today, my dear argumentative readers, I have put into practice a long-incubated revenge. I have a professional scolding going on these days, which experiences unique orgasms when it resumes me. It does it out loud, so that others can hear it, and above all, so that it can hear itself. Today she explained to me how I should act in a situation I've been dealing with since long before I was born (and you'll have to forgive my ageism, too). When she finished, she went to the bathroom. And then I pounced on her computer. I did several quick Google searches. Then I waited patiently for her to come back.
She came back, scolded me about my hair (apparently, I've failed again with the color), and sat down in front of the computer. Oh, yes... Immediately, thanks to my searches, and also to the speed of technology, ads started popping up for above-ground pools, medications to eradicate lice and scabies, and sex toys, including a completely realistic and enormous penis, which is on sale.
