Hello, Three Wise Men

You are a TOTAL FRAUD, a complete disgrace! I haven't given you any consideration since January 6th five years ago when you ended up handing the presidency to that sleepy Joe, who had stolen my undisputed election victory. This year I've ended EIGHT WARS!! And you brought the Nobel Peace Prize to a Venezuelan woman who hasn't done a thing and who not only lacked the honesty to step aside in my favor, but now intends to be the president of Venezuela, taking advantage of the fact that I'VE DONE ALL THE HARD WORK. This has been very LEO-like and totally UNFAIR on your part. I was lucky to receive the FIFA Peace Prize from this fabulous, intelligent, and fair man named Gianni Infantino, who gave it to me for "helping to unite the people of the planet with my exceptional and extraordinary work for peace." If it brought Messi 8 Ballon d'Or awards, why can't I have 8 NOBEL PEACE PRIZES, one for each war I've ended? By that year, I'd like Greenland, with plenty of oil, natural gas, rare earth elements, gold, diamonds, and fresh water. I'll leave the cod to the poor Danes and their ridiculous army of toy soldiers. I want Cuba too, but it will fall on its own thanks to my unprecedented strategic acumen, unmatched by any president. For Cuba, I only ask for a few resorts Like the ones I envisioned for Gaza. I don't want this chocolate cigarette-in-shoe nonsense: I'd be happy if, taking advantage of the United States' 250th anniversary this coming July 4th, I could take my face to Mount Rushmore, which is what would be fitting if we were as wise as you claim. The world respects me like never before. Don't make the same mistake with me again!! President DJT.