After listening very attentively to Míriam Nogueras's speech in Congress in defense of Junts' proposal to transfer immigration powers, I was deeply, deeply outraged. The MP said that 40 percent of immigrants don't work and live on social assistance. So, I've been ripped off my whole life! It turns out I was born with the perfect conditions to avoid having to get pregnant, and here I am, sweating my guts out trying to find every word, every sentence, getting the periods and commas right. Poor, immigrant, and a woman: but I did win the lottery of privileges, the passport to a life of luxury. Thanks to Junts, I've opened my eyes; I've realized that I've been foolish all my life believing I had to study, train, and improve every day to enjoy a certain amount of financial security. That's it; from now on, I'll heed Dosrius's advice. To start, I'll ask Esther Vera to apply the immigrant exemption and allow me to write for 40% less while earning the same. I'll also look for the "immigrant aid" window and ask for everything they haven't given me in the last 38 years. Then, to fit the congresswoman's description of immigrants (I'm that obedient, I don't like to disappoint), I'll start speaking Spanish systematically and daily. It will be a little strange to now have to switch languages with my children and my husband, but if the Catalans in the upper part of Barcelona speak the language of Cervantes in private, I'm sure I can do it too. And in the process, I'll avoid all the situations in which I have to explain why a Moorish woman speaks Catalan after several decades of immersion.
I saw you so upset, Mrs. Nogueras, that I'd like to lend a hand. I don't want you to suffer, to feel like we're approaching collapse and that both the Catalan language and identity are being lost due to the invasion of all of us who have come expressly for this, to destroy the Catalan language and identity. When I lived in the village, I thought we had come here because my father had a job, but no, I failed to see it, that my grandfather had hidden intentions: to destroy the Catalans, their culture, their language. Why would an old Rif peasant who had never set foot in these prosperous lands or known anything about them set out to destroy the Catalans by sending his beloved grandchildren here? I don't know, but there's certainly a hidden reason. You should always be wary of the intentions of grandparents who apparently want a better life for their grandchildren. Not to mention the doctors who want to cure you and who take long shifts in the emergency room. What perfidious intentions do all these Latin American health workers have? Surely not good ones. They're worse than an Argentine ice cream vendor. Well, I want to lend a hand to Mrs. Nogueras, as I've already said, and that's why I want to propose a definitive (final) solution to prevent the overflow she's denouncing: talk to Catalan business owners and convince them to close their businesses. Yes, yes, it's a radical measure, but it would be the most effective. And it doesn't even require any powers. Because as long as there's work here, those dangerous and lazy immigrants won't stop arriving, and of course, that can only be stopped in one way: by eliminating all the jobs that "newcomers" can fill. Waiters, nursing home assistants, cleaners, and transport workers are enough. And doctors, of course. If it must be reduced, it will be reduced. Whatever it takes for Catalonia to be a pure nation of our blood, cleansed of foreign elements. And since Junts is a party that defends the interests of the employers (as far as I understand), I suppose it won't be too difficult for them to convince Catalan business owners that this is the best plan to save the country. Let them sacrifice their present and future economic benefits for a higher and more important ideal: for the love of Catalonia!
