In the trial for the Ábalos case, his former advisor at the Ministry of Transport, Koldo García, had to answer this question from the prosecutor: “What are xistorres?” The answer from the man –who faces nineteen years in prison– was what the police suspected: 500 euro banknotes.
Perhaps you, dear readers, have not had one of these banknotes in your hands. Not like me, who is a woman of the world and spends my days at the casino exchanging them for chips. They are a color between pink and purple, and that is why the admired Koldo García and his companions called them xistorres. A xistorra is a sausage of that color, especially when cooked. It is very popular in the Basque Country and Navarre, which makes me think that corrupt schemes must always be zero-kilometer.
From here I encourage Catalan entrepreneurs to build a scheme like this, in our country (or, to put it correctly, in our “territory”). I hope that the future protagonists of this scheme will all be readers of the newspaper ARA and especially of the section Cuina sÀvia, which we do with such pleasure. What I mean by this is that when mentioning bank notes, take into account our gastronomic particularities, like Koldo. Thus, the five-hundred euro banknotes should be called fuets, please. The five euro ones (if we had a modest scheme), which are gray, should be bulls blancs. The ten euro ones, red, xoriços de budell cular. The hundred euro ones, green, should be enciams d’en Pep Salsetes. And the 200 euro ones, brown, some fricandós. We will not be a normal country until we have linguistically normalized thieves.
