Why is it important to have a lock on the bedroom?

Whenever I visit a couple with children, I pay attention. Do they have a lock on the bedroom door? It might seem like a strange obsession, but for me, it's a small detail loaded with meaning. Because putting a lock on a door isn't just installing a mechanism; it's setting a boundary and protecting a space of intimacy.

When there isn't one, the implicit message is that we are available at any moment. And yes, it's true that our children need us and we want to be there for them. But where do we fit in? Where does the couple fit in? What about those moments when we also need to be alone, to talk, to hug, or simply to rest without fear of someone walking in unannounced? It's inevitable to wonder if we'll experience our sexuality with the same spontaneity knowing that, at any moment, the door could open.

Furthermore, putting a lock on the door is also a way of educating. We teach our sons and daughters that intimacy is a right, and so is that of adults. That before entering, one must knock and wait for a response. That loving doesn't mean having unlimited access to the other person. That boundaries don't push people away, but rather protect relationships. And that everyone needs their own space where they feel safe.

Paradoxically, as children grow, they are the first to demand that we knock before entering their room. And they are right to do so. But intimacy doesn't suddenly appear in adolescence; it is built from a young age, by observing how adults also take care of it.

In conclusion, having a lock on the bedroom door is about taking care of the couple's relationship. It's about reminding ourselves that, before being a mother or father, we are also people, companions, lovers. And that preserving this space is not an act of selfishness, but a way of nurturing a bond that sustains the entire family.