How to talk about sexuality at home without dying in the attempt

Talking about sexuality at home is usually, even today, uncomfortable. Not to go any further, I invite you to remember how this topic was dealt with in your families of origin. Often, the answer is: “There was no sex education at home.” But not talking about it also educates. Transmitting to children that it makes us uncomfortable is, in essence, teaching them that sexuality is a taboo. And so, it will be difficult for us to become role models.

That is why it is important to answer a question that many parents ask themselves: at what age should we start talking about sexuality at home? The answer is that there is no specific age. Sexuality should be integrated from the beginning, as another part of education, adapting to the children's questions and concerns according to their developmental stage.

Here is an important key: understanding what they are really asking us and how far we need to go in answering. It is not about explaining everything, but about accompanying with honesty and meaning. It is also fundamental to take advantage of the opportunities that arise in daily life: if a child curiously observes an image of someone in underwear, or if they refuse to kiss an adult, we have an opportunity to talk about the body, intimacy, consent, and boundaries. And this is also sex education.

Educating in sexuality is not just talking about risks –though that too–, but about helping to know one's own body, to set boundaries, to respect them, and to understand diversity. The discomfort is often ours, the adults', because we look at sexuality from an adult perspective. And perhaps the most important thing is not to transmit or perpetuate this view.

In short, educating about sexuality at home does not consist of having “the talk” when adolescence arrives, but of knowing how to be available, taking advantage of daily life, and answering, naturally, the questions that arise.