Alba Florejachs: "Mothering is exhausting, you don't always enjoy everything, and that doesn't make you a worse mother"

They often ask you questions that throw you off. I remember we were in a country house that we share with friends and the little one was talking to some slightly older children who were listening to her wide-eyed. When we asked her what they were talking about, she said: "Mom, doesn't fluid, blood, life and death come out of the vagina?". It was a very powerful moment, and at the same time a precious opportunity to talk about it naturally. Being a mother is a very lively job, constantly transforming. It's beautiful, but also demanding, because it involves accompanying without controlling, listening and knowing when to give space.What do you find cumbersome?

— The day-to-day management, the rush, the schedules, having to be aware of many things at once and the mental wear and tear of sustaining it all. Sometimes it's not so much what you do, but having to do it constantly.

What makes you feel proud?

— For example, of how we have been distributing responsibilities. The older one already does laundry, prepares breakfast, and we have even started cleaning the house together. The little one picks up, sets the table, and takes care of the plants. They are small things, but they help generate autonomy and a sense of community.

As an actress, you make jokes. Do you make them as a mother too?

— I use humor a lot at home. It helps to distance myself from what might seem very serious. It's a way to defuse drama and put things into perspective. And it's a habit that, over time, I've also been incorporating towards myself. In fact, there's something I'm always a little embarrassed to explain, but which at the same time seems revealing to me.

Explain it to me.

— I lived for a year in Cuba and I have many friends there who have a way of communicating through humor. That perspective stuck with me. Now, when something particularly affects me, I activate this character. It's as if I connect with that more Cuban part of myself and sometimes I even speak aloud with a Cuban accent.

Have your daughters seen Batecs?

— I explained to them what it was about, but without going into detail, and their imagination did the rest. The day they came to see her, the little one insisted on sitting further back, away from the stage, because she thought there would be a real birth on stage. Afterwards, we were able to talk about it calmly at home, and it was nice to see that this also opened up questions about the future, about whether they will want to have children one day, about what the desire for motherhood means.

Has evolucionado mucho tu forma de entender la maternidad?

— Yes. I think it's quite inevitable. When you talk to other families, you realize that there are parts of motherhood that are harder to say out loud because they don't fit with the idealized image we have. The romanticization of motherhood has hurt us a lot. It has placed us in a position where it seems we have to be able to do everything and sustain everything at the same time. Over time, I've come to understand that we need to recognize that mothering is exhausting and that you don't always enjoy everything. This doesn't make you a worse mother, it makes you more honest. I try to live motherhood from a less normative place, more open to conversation, to listening, and to constant revision. I'm very interested in making space for emotions, sharing doubts, and not always having all the answers.

Listen, understand...

— It is important to be able to embrace all emotions. The more space we give them to express themselves, the lighter everything becomes. Feelings work like waves: they arrive, they grow, and if we let them be, they eventually pass.

What phrases do you say most often?

— My usual phrases are quite universal: “Brush your teeth”, “Pick that up, please”, “Come on, we’re late” or “Are you listening to me?”.

Amazing sentences.

— “Don’t lick the floor, don’t lick the railing”. These are the kinds of phrases that make you realize reality surpasses any prediction.

Which phrases are the most effective?

— I've discovered that when I slow down and speak from a calmer place, looking into people's eyes, it works very well. The more convoluted sentences come out when you're tired. A few years ago, when I was overwhelmed and my youngest dropped a plate and it broke. I let out a scream and, automatically, I apologized. Then my oldest told me: "Don't worry, mom, we have a psychologist tomorrow".