Monika Zgustova: "When you abandon your mother tongue, sometimes you also have to abandon your dreams"

Barcelona"I felt the need to explain my life to someone, to review it for myself, to value it and to share it," writes Monika Zgustova (Prague, 1957) in her latest novel, The Translator of Haikus (Galàxia Gutenberg, 2026). The writer and translator attributes the phrase to the protagonist, Jana, a woman born in Prague in 1939 who leaves her country to start a new life in the United States. Jana is the alter ego of her mother, lives under a communist regime and faces a profound dilemma: what should come first, ethical principles or the safety of her children? Through her, Zgustova fictionalizes the story of the exile of her parents, herself, and her brother with a novel that faces a harsh reality head-on and, at the same time, seeks reconciliation.

Although it can be read independently, The Translator of Haikus completes a literary project by Zgustova that has its origin in a previous book, We Saw Each Other Better in the Dark (Galàxia Gutenberg, 2022). There, she recounts the relationship between a mother and daughter also marked by exile and the process of adapting to the United States. "I realized that that book was partial, because it only talked about the daughter's feelings. To do justice, I began to write about the mother from her childhood, which is when the traumas begin," underscores the author, who adds that through writing she has done an exercise to reconcile with her and that now she loves her "more than ever." In the novel, Jana grows up in the middle of a war – the first memory she has is that of a soldier who wanted to separate her from her parents when she was four years old – and under the painful bond of a "cruel, perfidious, brutal and selfish" mother who had her at 19 without wanting her and who does not treat her well.

Jana's story is permeated by the constant and suffocating oppression of the communist regime. The strength of this dominance is accentuated when she marries Tomáš, a young idealistic professor, and they begin to be persecuted. "I write a lot about the impact of totalitarianism on human life, on the psyche and behavior. Since the 20th century, totalitarianisms have not ceased and it is important to explain that, deep down, life under totalitarianism is always much more difficult than during democracy, because any decision you make about your life cannot change. Under an authoritarian regime there are no laws, it is pure arbitrariness, and they can do anything to you," points out Zgustova.

After trying to withstand the pressures of the regime and developing a nervous illness, the protagonist manages to convince her husband to escape to the United States. The decision will be irreversible and will mark a turning point for the family. "She sacrifices her sense of ethics to get her children out of danger. This is what most people do during dictatorships, and this is what totalitarianisms feed on," says Zgustova. The family does not break, but it is divided into two sides: the men are inflexible and argue that one should never give in to pressure, while the daughter, Milena, understands her mother and tries to act as a bridge. "She is the reconciling element within the family, and I would like to believe that this was also my role," the writer states.

Adapting to a new country

The experience of exile gains strength from the second part of the novel, and it does so through contrast: while for Jana it means a liberation, for Tomáš it is a condemnation. "Both are over 40 years old, and they find it difficult to learn the language and customs of the country. In the United States and Canada, the first year of exile is very hard. Most people get truly depressed, which is what happened to my family," points out Zgustova. In the novel, she writes that Tomáš and the children "felt as if they had been lost in a world they did not understand," while for Jana that is a happy time.

To reflect the impact of the culture shock, the writer—who is also a translator from Czech into Catalan and Spanish—focuses on languages. "I arrived in the United States at 16 years old. I wanted to be a theater actress, but in the new country it was no longer an option. When you abandon your mother tongue, sometimes you also have to abandon your dreams," explains Zgustova. Despite the exile, she has always tried to take care of Czech. "In the attempt to learn other languages, there are people who have lost their mother tongue. I did not want that to happen to me, because I was afraid of losing my identity. When I arrived in Catalonia, I started translating from Czech into Catalan, but I have always been in contact with my mother tongue through Czech writers, and that has helped me a lot," she stresses.

In the end, Jana moves forward above all thanks to love, language, and the beauty conceived through art. When the protagonist hits rock bottom, she decides to learn Japanese and start translating haikus to make them reach the Czech Republic in her mother tongue. In this way, Zgustova pays tribute "to translators and translations made by a human being," as well as to poetry. "Beauty and creation are her salvation," concludes the writer.