"I thought I had married an egalitarian man"

Barcelona"I thought I had married an egalitarian man." The words of a professional woman, mother of four young children, echo in a room where they are discussing... forms of neomachismo“My husband,” the witness continues, “is a caregiver, a present father, he participates in the work, but he’s selfish and prioritizes his own time.” Later, she adds that it took her a while to realize these behaviors and states that, after sharing it with friends, she’s seen that her partner’s case is not uncommon. Men who feel “allied” with the feminist cause end up perpetuating patriarchal patterns. “They feel attacked and don’t embrace change,” she summarizes before an audience that understands the sentiment but also doesn’t want to be swayed by reality, much less by pessimism.

The difference between these men who are familiar with feminist theory and their fathers is that they feel they’ve already taken such a big step that they deserve thanks. “My husband does the cooking and thinks I have to give him a standing ovation!” exclaims the woman, complaining. The event is the presentation of The neo-machista backlash after the fourth wave of feminismThe book, signed by several academics and coordinated by political scientist Maria Freixanet, is the first published by the Institute of Political and Social Sciences (ICPS), a consortium of the Barcelona Provincial Council and the Autonomous University of Barcelona (UAB). It reflects on how the strength of feminist movements has led to a reaction from machismo, "adapting it to current times, to formally egalitarian societies where degrading positions towards women persist." Continuing with the testimony from the beginning, she stated that when she reproaches her husband for his unequal behavior, he responds with, "I don't know what you feminists want more," amidst nods of agreement, smiles, and disapproval from the audience.

There is no doubt that in the race for equality we are still far from the finish line, but Western society has never been as egalitarian as it is now. However, neomachismo has also gained strength and, through social media, knows how to capture younger generations and neutralize the messages of equality coming from government, mainstream media, and schools. Progress has been made in all areas, but as Dr. Eva Anduiza says, although "the hardest part has been done," referring to women's entry into university or public office, the challenge of "intimacy" lies ahead.

In the realm of intimacy, equality means that women dedicate twice as much time as men to caregiving and housework, forcing them into a double shift or a step backward in their professional careers. They take 80% of reduced working hours to care for children and are the lowest paid, even though they have better academic credentials. And regarding the children, feminist mothers question why the discourse that boys and girls are equal is also being rejected by the youngest: boys who feel discriminated against by teachers or who believe that their female classmates' opinions are given more weight in class.

"Have we made a mistake?" wondered the mother of four. And another attendee questioned to what extent it is effective to single out boys from a young age as the villains in the history of feminism. Political scientist Freixanet confirms that boys and young people "feel left behind by this egalitarian discourse" and, based on studies she has conducted among adolescents, concludes that this generation of women and men "They live in different worlds".

The "false egalitarianism"

Freixanet clarifies that neomachismo is nothing more than the updating of traditional machismo to survive in a changing society. And it does so in more sophisticated forms of "false egalitarianism" and under the premise that feminism no longer has a reason to exist because equality is already a reality and even men are now the new victims of discrimination—a belief without any statistical basis. This is what is called "modern sexism""The only type of sexism that sociology identifies as being on the rise is also seen among some women who believe things have gone too far. In contrast, traditional and benevolent sexism are delegitimized by the majority of society."

Experts warn that it is important to keep in mind that feminism advances in waves (lThis is the fourth wave, which began in 2018 with Me Too.But patriarchy always generates a backlash to stop it. And so far, it hasn't succeeded. For the book's authors, there's no greater secret than a combination of education from a very young age, developing positive strategies, responding to attacks with data, creating feminist role models, using inclusive and non-sexist language, and communicating the achievements of feminism, not just its denunciations. All of this to reduce what's known as "feminist fatigue."