Carlota Elias was clear that she needed a topic that would motivate her for her final degree project in criminology. And she came across the word hyrbridophilia: people who are attracted to criminals. She has finally turned it into the book Hibristofília, a tale of (enclosed) fairies.
“I feel a connection with you that I cannot ignore”.
— It's a phrase that sounds familiar to me, it's related to everything we'll be talking about.
It is the letter of a stranger to Miguel Carcaño, the confessed murderer of Marta del Castillo.
— It really catches my attention that many of these stories begin with a letter. It's a point where the relationship is idealized, because we don't communicate via Instagram, but in a romantic way like a letter.
Are there many women writing letters to prisoners, today?
— Yes, and not just letters. There are fan clubs where they defend certain people, as is the case with Marta del Castillo's murderer.
Why might a delinquent attract you?
— In the background, there is the same as when you like the typical class hooligan. There is the will to save and change the person.
But one thing is a bank robber and another is a murderer.
— Hybristophilia means attraction to a person who has committed a violent crime. Normally these are cases of murder, rape, violent crimes...
But shouldn't they scare us sooner?
— It has been observed that the majority of women who feel this attraction confuse the concept of protection with violence. In other words, having a violent man by their side can make them feel protected. And there is another interesting issue, which is that we have the idea of evil as something ugly. What happens when we see someone who has committed a crime and they seem attractive to us?
What's happening?
— That the need arises to justify why it has been done.
So, is it key that it's good-looking?
— Yes, we don't understand why someone has done something bad when it appeals to us, and it doesn't happen as much if it doesn't seem so. It's a matter of dissonance: they've done something horrible, but it appeals to me, how can that be? And it's here where you start to communicate to try to understand.
And surely they are empathetic…
— They usually have a great capacity to empathize. But I don't want to blame them, it's a problem of social construct: from a young age we see series and movies that romanticize toxic behaviors.
I'm thinking of the phrase: "Hey, ugly, you, ugly".
— Three meters above the sky. It perfectly defines what I'm trying to explain in the book. He is violent, always surrounded by fights; she, methodical and responsible…
And it's a lie... Aren't they salvageable?
— There is always a component of wanting to make the person feel unique. And that is why many feel chosen: I am the one who will make you change.
Do women who fall in love with these men have a pathology?
— No, it is not a disorder. We know it is a predominantly female tendency.
So, is the pathology heteropatriarchy?
— Yes, that would be it.
Do these men they fall in love with have common characteristics?
— They tend to have an avoidant profile. And there is an important factor: both parties need each other. They, more devoted, caring, and they need someone to go after them and pay attention to them.
Are there men who fall in love with women who are prisoners?
— It is much more common with women, and surely the reason why men feel attraction is different, but I have not focused on these cases.
Has any case surprised you especially?
— What surprised me the most are not the stories of celebrities, but the answers of some girls aged 18 to 25 who say they like it when their partner feels jealous, when the man provides protection, or even, in some cases, when the partner has a criminal record.
The case of Ted Bundy surprises me a lot.
— 70s: it is an extreme case, because he is a serial killer who raped, killed and tortured his victims. A woman started writing to him and they ended up getting married in prison. He was a charismatic person, handsome, he aroused a lot of interest.
Hybristophilia is the technical name, but it is also known as Bonnie and Clyde syndrome.
— They are a boy and a girl from the United States who started dating around 1930. He committed robberies, murders, and at first she did not participate in the crimes, but later she did. It is a story that well defines hybristophilia.
What would you say to a woman who is writing to a prisoner?
— First, that she reads the book. And second, that the idea is not to point out that she is doing it wrong, but to tell her that this has a name, that it doesn't just happen to her but to many other women on a different scale, and that it's good to be aware of it.