Seven years of conquests by the Tinder scammer: "He destroys lives, he devastates you emotionally."

BarcelonaHow many more victims are there? Why does he do it? How can he stop? These are questions that women who have encountered The emotional Tinder scammer, the man three women reported to the ARA. It can be argued that the pattern of presenting himself under a false identity and, in many cases, allowing himself to be supported by the women he falls in love with dates back to at least 2018. Seven years of contacting people through dating apps, posing as a Spanish-Cuban neurosurgeon and maintaining sexual relationships with several women at once through deception. Victims have been located in San Sebastián, Cádiz, Barcelona, ​​​​Madrid, Girona, Ibiza, and Granada.

"The article [from the ARA] has given me peace of mind "because I have been obsessively searching for information about him for so long," explains one of these victims, who, like the rest, voluntarily maintains anonymity when it comes to his own reluctance to speak to prevent him from becoming more patient because of him. Dona, who will discover the veritable identity of who believed the person to be from the news. Alone, the gifts have carried out investigations into the real life of the home trying to find an explanation, and the fact of knowing that they are not the only ones reconciles both the owners of the gifts have taken the home to the police to report the crime. his behavior of an emotional predator or, simply, to alert the authorities, who affirm that he has not capped criminal behavior. "If someone steals something material, they can act, but if it's just an emotional crime, they don't want to do anything," they say, and they say they feel violent with them. victims of undercover police.

Indeed, lies underpin the story of this man who claims to be a Cuban-born neurosurgeon with Basque and Norwegian roots. His real name is Jon LL, and he was born in the Biscayan town of Gernika in 1992 to a wealthy family. The story he tells has varied over the years: from being linked to the Cuban government, which assigned him to specific missions abroad, to being a guerrilla in the FARC in Colombia, to being an ETA militant, although he was a teenager when the Basque group laid down its weapons. In fact, he sports tattoos with military, Cuban, and ETA emblems, as well as "scars" on his body, which he attributes to some battle, and which could be from surgeries or fights. He was first identified as an emotional con artist around 2018, when he was already resorting to lies to gain the affection and trust of women through dating apps: Tinder, Bumble, Feeld and Instagram too.

Little virtual trace

Online, the scammer is relatively inactive on public social media and usually disguises himself as a Bolivian mountain. A former rugby player, he is tall and powerful, sports a well-groomed beard (sometimes red with henna), and targets athletic women in their thirties, whom he offers to offer hard-earned dinners so that the contacts can be made at their homes. Some women report sporadic encounters, as he would disappear for days or weeks on end due to false "duty" at hospitals or on assignments abroad. With no known fixed address, he actually goes from house to house with his current conquests, as some of the women have confirmed by comparing dates and seeing the photographs he sent them.

People who know him describe him as "violent" toward men since his adolescence. There have been blows, threats, and even a fight with a machete. However, he is not known to have engaged in aggressive behavior toward women in his town or region, likely because it's difficult to maintain a false biography in a place where everyone is known, but some do recount specific incidents. He has been banned from some establishments and bars for being disruptive.

Women are still afraid. Afraid that he'll identify them and come back to hurt them. They talk about him as a psychopath, a textbook narcissist.It's a love bombing", notes one of the women, because after the first contact "he is so insistent that in the end he traps you." At first, he is attentive to the needs and tastes of women, interested in their lives. Nothing is free, and he uses the information to "mold" himself to each woman and become "the ideal man," the doctor analyzes in her story. He played the role of savior, because I was in a vulnerable moment and I opened up emotionally," relates one woman. "He asked me to get married, have children, and at some point I dreamed that we could have a future," admits another, who only saw half a dozen blows. Many admit that they "got hooked" on him.

Garrido indicates that his ability to manipulate and deceive makes it easy for him to "get everything voluntarily." True, he rarely asks for anything, but women have paid for his trips, bus tickets, or have kept him company. These are short-lived relationships, because after a few weeks or months (the maximum documented is six months or a year with sporadic encounters), there is a change in attitude. "I went from being his queen to a vicious bitch, whom he insulted and despised," says one victim, who ended the relationship when she realized that the next time he might slap her. "He was incredibly affectionate and controlling," she explains.

It is impossible to describe the man's clinical profile without examining him or knowing his background, but both Garrido and psychologist Laia Rosich, also a specialist in gender-based violence, point to the "delirium" and "excessive ego" that lead him to invent a long biography that is more about her. If it's due to sexual desire, the domination he exerts over women can't be determined either. Garrido emphasizes that the case is unusual "because it occurs in series."

How can women overcome this traumatic experience? Garrido indicates that "it is healing" to be able to see themselves reflected in press articles so that the truth is known and to satisfy "the need to see that they are not alone." She also sees the networks they are creating as positive, although she warns that they must know how to "find limits" to avoid reliving the pain.

For her part, Rosich also notes that the collective feeling of "shame" for having accepted the deception "fuels the isolation" of the victims, so she values the fact that they recognize themselves for being able to "take action" and move forward with their lives. While she admits that it is not a criminal offense, it is important for women to feel "calm" and escape guilt. Citing Frenchwoman Gisèle Pelicot, Garrido concludes that in this case and in all sexual assaults "Shame must change sides".