Núria Parera: "You can't force them to be on the couch with you when they're a certain age."

BarcelonaI have five siblings and I am the youngest. Every weekend we spent at a farmhouse in Montnegre, a farmhouse that is still a meeting point for siblings and cousins. We left home in the morning and returned at our leisure, without our parents being too close to us. I remember going through the woods, along the stream, and not coming back until we heard the bell, which indicated that dinner was ready. The book is a vindication of outdoor play and the right of children to feel free.

You dedicate it to the brothers.

— The relationship you can have with a brother or sister is unlike any other. They are people with whom you have a strong bond due to having shared common family experiences, a type of upbringing, a way of understanding the world. They serve as a network and comfort to you when there are difficult and sad times, such as the loss of your father.

And sometimes they teach you that it's not that complicated to have children.

— Watching my older siblings take on the role of parent has helped me a lot. It has allowed me to practice with my nieces and nephews before I had my own children. I was already an aunt by the time they were nine and it was a wonderful gift. I now have twelve nieces and nephews and have babysat most of them – plus six nephews on my husband’s side.

How have you helped your children decide what to study?

— I have been very involved in her studies, but never in a dictatorial way. My daughter completed her high school studies and went to the United States, where she did the first year of a communications degree. The experience was great, but she didn't like the studies there and went back to study in Barcelona. Now she is delighted. The little one, when choosing between going to high school or doing a degree, was unsure. We put the subjects from high school and those from the degree she had chosen in front of her, and we told her to think about it. After ten minutes she had it crystal clear: she chose a middle level degree. Now she is doing a higher level degree in marketing and advertising.

For a year you were a foster mother.

— We welcomed a teenager from Malaga, born to Nigerian parents, into our home for a school year, Chiso. Eight years ago. When she arrived home she had to start the first year of compulsory secondary school. For all of them it was a major change and a mutual learning process. The children accepted it normally. I was surprised by how well they integrated her into the family dynamics. For example, they accepted sharing a room again very well. After two months Chiso was already speaking Catalan. She studied at the same high school as Alba and trained on the same basketball team. There were some nice moments, some funny ones, and some complicated ones.

What was complicated?

— It's clear that hosting is a daily challenge and you never know if you're doing it right or not. My husband and I do our best, but now, looking back, I think I would do it differently. Sometimes you want to help so much and for the person to move forward that you overwhelm them, and you don't take into account enough everything that person is carrying.

Are you still in touch?

— They keep in touch with Alba. Chiso now lives in the United States. She got a scholarship to play basketball and is studying there at the university. We are very happy for her.

You write scripts of the As if it were yesterdayDo you still watch TV with your children?

— Television watching habits have changed completely. When they were little, we shared some lovely moments on the sofa and watching TV. This ended when they entered adolescence. It is a shame that we stop sharing that time because we lose the ability to negotiate and know how to give in when choosing a film. But fighting against this is complicated. You cannot force them to be on the sofa with you when they are already a certain age.

Tell me some anecdote that you like to remember.

— When she was little, Alba was very observant. One summer we were in a church in a small town where they were celebrating a baptism. Alba had no idea what was going on. She saw how they put oil on the baby's forehead, and I told her: "Now they put some oil on him." She saw how they poured water on his head and I told her: "Now they pour the water on him." Then she saw how they brought a huge lit candle to him and before I could say anything, she asked all worried: "And now they will burn him?"