There is light and hope in being a girl, however, but what do boys have?
In the same week I watch the series Adolescence And I learn that official data indicates that the number of mothers resigning from their profession is rising relative to the number of fathers. And while I was watching the series, I couldn't stop thinking about these new families—younger, theoretically more modern, more advanced, more aware—who are now the protagonists of a step backward in parenting. A step backward that is also a step backward for feminism, a step backward for building a healthier masculinity. And which, therefore, is a step backward for society in general. Because fathers are once again less present. And without fathers, without their involvement on equal terms with mothers, how can we build this new model that we so desperately need?
DEAdolescence Many things can be said: the influence of the group and the role of social networks, what happens in high schools, etc. Aspects that fit more into an analysis for the supplement CreaturesBut what I want to talk about here is what this preteen thinks it means to be a boy, a man. And, of course, about his father. A father like so many others, who loves his son madly, but is ashamed because he doesn't play soccer well. Who has a son who draws like crazy and it doesn't even occur to them to sign him up for an extracurricular drawing class. But soccer and boxing, yes. A family whose mother is dedicated to raising children and housework and a father who works outside the home. A father who doesn't know how to connect emotionally with his son. And, I insist, that doesn't mean he isn't loved! This boy, faced with the hell of loneliness, bullying, and the confusion of not knowing how to grow up, his only role model is the Andrew Tates of the moment, one influencer English, misogynistic and toxic. In a previous article ("I wish men would make their own revolution") I've talked about the importance of giving good role models to boys and girls. Because when the parents in the series wonder how they were able to raise a daughter and a son the same way with such different results, they forget a crucial fact. What do boys have? What do preteens have? Influencers Misogynists and too many absent fathers. Men who struggle to work on themselves emotionally and, of course, who struggle even more to connect with their sons.
Adolescence It's excellent and devastating. It doesn't paint a picture of reality in its entirety, but it confronts us with the way too many boys and young men grow up and with the meaning of what it can mean to be raised as a man right now. Not always, but all too often. Something needs to change, and men have a lot to say, and (male) fathers have a lot of work ahead of them. And a great responsibility.
