Pau Miró: "There are certain things that, outside the family environment, would be unthinkable to tolerate"

BarcelonaOne of the main problems that the characters ofExpulsion These are the expectations that the father and mother projected onto their children. It is a matter of maturity to shed this burden, but it is not so easy if the parents have been two people with an outstanding and recognized professional career. In this case, the shadow is longer.

The shadow of parents is always long. Very well seen.

— As a father, I would like to be able to do things as well as my parents have done. They have always been there, but in the background. This balance is very healthy, but it is also difficult to achieve.

You have a younger brother.

— He is a good guy, a good friend, a good brother and a good musician. He is someone who knows how to give the right importance to things, nothing less. He was lucky enough to receive a good education at home, but he has not reproduced the models he found. He has created his own. And I, who have a plagiarist's soul, am attentive, I try to learn from it. It is important to read parents between the lines and not literally.

Expulsion It's a crisis between brothers.

— The brothers seem to have been waiting for their parents to die so they could be honest with each other. It is a delicate subject, these rifts between brothers are painful, but I wanted to play it with irony. The traditional idea of family sometimes generates bizarre relationships. There are certain things that, outside of the family, would be unthinkable to bear. It is positive that the concept of family is being reconsidered because there are many cracks in the model we have inherited. I have not done it, I am much more conventional than I want to admit.

He became a father late.

— But I was really looking forward to it and I was really excited. One thing was clear to me: I wanted to be a present father and I think I have achieved that. Now I have to try not to be a bothersome father. When my daughter was born, my priorities were spontaneously rearranged and my previous life dissolved like a sugar cube.

What does it mean to be a father right now?

— It's like learning a song that constantly changes, one day the key changes, another the lyrics, but you have to keep singing, even if you're a little out of tune.

What do you especially like?

— Making breakfast with her and having breakfast while planning the day is one of my favorite times.

What lessons do you find valuable?

— Anyone who knows me a little might be surprised, but I think manners are very important. Greet the other person when they greet you, say good morning and good afternoon, thank you and you're welcome. Leave the house with your hair combed, sit well at the table, don't interrupt, etc. Sometimes I feel like I was born in the 19th century.

What worries you?

— Emotional education is the most important thing. All the tools my daughter acquires will help her in the future. As a parent, it is important to learn to relax and not be so demanding of herself. The idea that our time was better than the world today seems like a trap to me. We must not fall into catastrophism. What worries me most is worrying too much.

How has your daughter changed you?

— The vulnerability of a four-year-old girl has made me look at others, at adults, sensing this vulnerability. Since Lila was born, I look at others with a little more patience, with a desire to try to understand others better. It is a somewhat esoteric exercise, but sometimes reading between the lines is necessary.

It's a wonder to watch someone learn to speak, isn't it?

— I am amazed by language. How he adds words to his vocabulary. And when he starts to build fictions, I am even more amazed. I see how the mechanisms of internal coherence appear in the stories he invents. Seeing all these mechanisms in a pure state is a gift and a learning experience.

I don't know if you're writing down things he says.

— His most poetic stage was when he was between two and three years old. We wrote down some phrases. "The mother feeds time." "What has been said has been left to sound." "That's the way the world is, sleeping and waking up."

That's right, Lila. That's exactly it.

— One day, while we were washing the dishes, he told us: "Washing up doesn't nourish you." And another day: "I dry my sadness on the couch."