Oriol Canals: "The best father in the world surely screws up at least several times a day"

BarcelonaI think that children today are being overprotected: no exams, no tests, nothing that could cause them a headache or discomfort. This can lead to overprotected adults. I don't like exams either, but I take them every day. We all take them every day.

TRUE.

— I'm sorry to be pessimistic, but if the world didn't change after Covid, it won't change anymore. My view is that we've gotten worse, towards a more hostile, individualistic and selfish society. At home, we try to make Max a good boy, with a social conscience, but without hiding from him the fact that life is full of sticks in the wheels and that he will have to pedal very hard to get ahead. We will always be there to help and guide him, but he needs to figure it out on his own.

And how does he see the world?

— He sees the world in a different way than I did at his age. For him, for example, the world is very big. He doesn't end up in Barcelona like I did. He is clear that perhaps he has to go abroad to work. If he already has that mentality at ten, I don't know what he will have at twenty-five. Now, with a couple of clicks he finds himself in Chicago, Tokyo or Buenos Aires.

What music do you share?

— I really like opera, especially liturgy, although I haven't done it with Max yet. The voice is very distant, for older people. But let's talk about pop-rock. I understand that it's a bit like that. He should have his own tastes. If I don't have my father's or mother's tastes, why should he have mine?

How are you and your son similar?

— Apart from the fact that we are both like two peas in a pod, my son is a child who always tries and who needs to be given limits. As far as I remember, I was the same. He was a good kid, a friend to his friends, cheerful, always closing ranks, but I constantly had to be reminded where the red line was. It doesn't matter to him. Therefore, we try to give him guidelines and point out the limit a few meters before he reaches it.

What surprises you, looking at it?

— I'm drooling over how he evolves, how he thinks, how he grows. I look back and it's inevitable to feel nostalgic, but I think I have a much better time with him now than when he was little, at three, four or five years old. And much better than when he was a baby. I'm amazed to see that he's not the same person he was, perhaps, a few months or a few years ago. And, why not say it, that the seeds we planted with him some time ago are now bearing fruit: perseverance, education, study. I imagine we still have to work on patience.

When you watch your child playing with friends, you see things you don't see at home.

— Yes, yes. It has happened to me. You can see an unknown part of him. I think they are purer, more authentic. By observing them like this, you see some virtues and also defects to correct. I really like observing his behavior when he thinks I'm not looking. And if there is something I didn't like, he gives some thoughtful talks afterwards.

What areas do you try to put effort into?

— In the unexpected questions. Suddenly, before going to bed, he might ask me: "Dad, what is porn?", "Have you seen it?", "Do you like it?". Fuck, kid, I think. After a day at work, sometimes you have to answer uncomfortable questions. And there are more to come, I guess. But that's about it. Questions about sex start to appear and it's one of those things you don't want to get wrong. We try to make it happen naturally, but you never know if you're getting it right. We always try to send out a message: "You should never do something that another person doesn't want."

What are we not doing well enough?

— I think there is an overdose of information and advice. I read and listen to it because being informed is part of my job as a media worker, but I admit that I pay attention to very little advice. At home we try to apply common sense and, if possible, combine it with humor. I don't think that reading everything and trying to apply everything is good. The perfect father doesn't exist. The best father in the world surely screws up at least several times a day. In this sense, I remember that the late Carles Capdevila said that "children don't have an instruction manual."