Letter from a rat received in the newspaper

Dear Director of ARA, I read in the press that the National Confederation of Associations of Plumbing, Gas, Heating, Air Conditioning, Fire Protection, Electricity and Related Companies (Conaif) has issued a statement asking the media to stop using the term plumber to refer to people who perform covert political tasks. They consider it a degrading use that harms their professional dignity. I think it's a reasonable request. Moreover, this political correctness should also be extended to the use and abuse of sewers to refer to the metaphorical spaces where all these exchanges of audios and dossiers take place. As a proud example of Rattus norvegicus I'm fed up with this constant insult to our precious natural habitat. It's hard enough having to dodge cats, municipal brigade workers, and splashes of Zotal, without seeing our Eden of darkness and grease vilified every day in the pages of newspapers by some gentlemen who frequent seafood restaurants rather than our beloved, generous sewers.

Likewise, we must listen to the butchers when they demand that we not talk about chorizos If we are referring to elected officials who enrich themselves illegally, and also the tailors who cry over the indignity of a turncoat being told to change your shirt, the playwrights are hurt because we talk about a political staging or the peasants, who still carry the trauma of rhyme Zapatero, zero potatoIf we eradicate metaphors, we'll have perfectly boring newspapers, all right, but no one will be offended.