"We stop devoting our time and energy to the lives of others."

BarcelonaIt seems there are words that, just by speaking them, have the power to free us. As if opening a gap of fresh air amidst the mental noise that often accompanies us, especially when it comes to living with the opinions, criticisms, or judgments of others, these words can act as an unexpected balm. For Mel Robbins, author best-seller American, these words are so simple: "Let them do it."

"It's the most powerful concept I've ever discovered," says this expert in mental focus, motivation, and behavioral change. "It's a framework that helps you stop wasting your energy trying to control other people, their behavior, their opinions, their emotions. Instead, it teaches you to focus on the only thing you can truly control: yourself." The author assures that, if applied correctly, you stop reacting to everything around you and begin to feel more grounded, calm, and serene.

This entire theory is explained in her new book Let them do it (The let them theory), published by Ara Llibres. "The next time you catch yourself wishing someone would act differently, simply think, 'Let them do it.' Let them cut you off. Let them think you're unsuccessful. Let them leave you out of the party," she continues. Only in this way, she notes, can we stop pouring our energy into things we can't control. And instead, we can take that energy and direct it inward, toward the second part of the theory: let me do it.

"This is where your power lives: Let me make other plans, let me pursue my dreams, regardless of what other people think. Let me tell that person how I really feel, even if it upsets them," she reflects. Only in this way, when we stop trying to control others and focus on ourselves, can we reclaim our power, says Robins, an author known for her ability to simplify complex topics and turn them into practical, everyday applications.

In the pages of the book, the author explains that when we let the moods, reactions, or opinions of others dictate how we feel, we are giving up control of our lives. Instead, if we use the "let them do it" theory, we take back our power and gain the ability to control our lives again.

Less control

However, applying it isn't always easy. "Humans are wired to want control. We want our partners to act a certain way, our friends to make the decisions we think are right, our family to support us the way we want. But, no matter how hard we try, we can't control another person," Robbins points out. It's precisely this gap between how people are and how we'd like them to be that ultimately creates so much stress and frustration for us. "If you let them do it, you stop trying to micromanage the world around you and start managing the one thing that's never been under your control: yourself," she clarifies.

This theory, therefore, can be misinterpreted or distorted if it's not used in the right way. "It's not about being passive-aggressive and saying 'it doesn't matter' while marching around proudly and superiorly. It's about understanding that every adult is responsible for their own decisions and that you don't need to manage theirs to protect your peace," Robbins continues. Letting someone do something doesn't mean we're better than them; it just means it's not our responsibility to control them. "It's not selfishness, it's self-esteem: we stop devoting our time and energy to other people's lives and start truly living our own," she notes.

Finally, how can we know we're applying the theory correctly? "You'll know because life will start to seem lighter. You'll be less reactive and won't spiral if someone criticizes you," the author assures. In other words, you'll stop chasing people for validation, you won't waste your mental energy imagining conversations or trying to prove your worth. "You'll feel grounded, you'll be calm, and in control of yourself," the author adds.

What if we make a mistake? "Welcome to the club, it happens to all of us. That's why it's so important to understand that this is a practice that must be cultivated with patience. Like anything worthwhile, it takes time, but as you integrate it, you'll discover that it's much simpler than it seemed at first," she concludes.