"We have lost patience": how technology affects our emotional health

BarcelonaWe live in an era marked by immediacy. We answer messages while walking, constantly check notifications, and often end the day feeling like we've been busy all the time without really connecting with ourselves. Speed, hyperproductivity, and the need to always respond immediately are part of a culture that leaves less and less room for emotional rest. Gaby Hostnik, a specialist and trainer in applied neuroscience and emotional intelligence, author of the book The future is what you do today (Bruguera, 2026), talks about this contemporary malaise.

The problem is not only technology, but also the pace at which it forces us to live. “We live in the era of ‘now,’ of the click, of wanting everything immediately,” says Hostnik, who warns that this constant need for speed makes us lose awareness of the small daily decisions that build our future well-being. Immediacy, she says, ends up overshadowing the importance of those small gestures and habits that have a real impact on the future.

Connected, but increasingly alone

Social networks play a central role. Hostnik argues that attention has become one of the most vulnerable resources today. "We must be custodians of our attention," she assures, warning that many digital platforms are designed precisely to keep us engaged for as long as possible. According to her, the problem arises when the stimulation is so constant that it makes it difficult to become aware of what we think and feel. "If we are hyper-fragmented and hyper-stimulated all day, there is no capacity for emotional management," she says.

This hyper-connection is also transforming personal relationships. Although the world has never been so digitally connected, Hostnik believes that emotionally the opposite is happening. "The feeling of loneliness is growing," she states. For her, networks can generate a sense of immediate connection, but we cannot forget that they do not meet the need for deep bonds that our social brain requires to feel accompanied and connected. "The human brain is designed for real social contact: conversing, looking each other in the eye, and sharing physical spaces with other people," she recalls.

The author provides everyday examples that she considers revealing: groups of friends physically gathered but each absorbed in their mobile phones, couples sharing space without interacting, or teenagers spending hours connected online without practically leaving home. "They have lost eye contact and connection," she says. This constant need for stimuli also hides, according to her, a growing difficulty in tolerating silence and being alone with our thoughts.

The weight of the environment

Hostnik insists that well-being does not depend solely on individual will. The economic, social, and technological context also conditions how we live and relate to ourselves. While defending the importance of habits and individual responsibility, he insists that not everything depends exclusively on one's own will. At the same time, Hostnik argues that well-being does not depend only on the results we achieve, but also on the way we travel the path. That is why he champions values such as serenity, constancy, and the ability to live with uncertainty. The brain tends to seek what provides instant gratification, but deep connections, a sense of belonging, and personal development require time, dedication, and patience.

The specialist questions simplistic discourses on personal development. He argues that we often ignore the extent to which factors such as hyperconnectivity, social pressure, or material difficulties are part of the conversation about emotional health. Therefore, he rejects the idea that well-being is merely a matter of positive attitude or personal discipline. Instead, he proposes focusing on those daily aspects that we can indeed take care of: protecting spaces for rest, limiting hyperconnection, surrounding ourselves with healthy relationships, or rediscovering activities that connect us with our bodies and with the present.

The need to return to the “basics”

“We have lost our patience,” states Hostnik, who adds that “between sowing and harvesting there is always an inevitable waiting period.” In a culture accustomed to immediate gratification, learning to wait and tolerate discomfort has become almost a countercultural act, she explains, comparing personal development to the rhythms of nature. Furthermore, constant overstimulation can translate into fatigue, concentration difficulties, and a feeling of exhaustion that many people experience in their daily lives.

Faced with this scenario, the author recalls that the human brain remains practically the same as it was thousands of years ago, but is now exposed to an unprecedented amount of stimuli. “We are increasingly accelerated and forget that our nervous system needs breaks, we need to return to the basics,” she explains. By this expression, she does not mean rejecting technology, but rather the need to build a more conscious relationship by recovering ways to protect emotional health amidst an increasingly accelerated environment, such as in-person conversations, breaks without screens, or spaces of silence.

In a context marked by immediacy, hyperconnectivity, and constant overstimulation, Hostnik vindicates in her book the importance of recovering what is often relegated to the background without rejecting technological advancements. She defends the need to relate to each other with more criteria and to remember that emotional well-being does not depend solely on productivity or speed, but also on the quality of our relationships, daily habits, and how we manage our attention in a world that constantly competes to capture it. “Nowadays, the greatest act of love you can give a person is to look them in the eye,” she concludes.