How to reconcile personal and work life: the keys of the Nordic and Mediterranean models

Building a career sometimes involves great sacrifices. Balancing personal and professional life often seems an unattainable challenge, but the fact is that we must move forward on this dual vital scale and, most importantly, we must do so by giving each of the areas the time and attention they deserve, understanding, from the outset, that we cannot say yes to everything. Starting from this premise, Joris Van der Schoot and Agustín Peralt have collected in their book Work like a northerner, live like a Mediterranean (Plataforma Editorial) what they consider to be the ten essential commandments to better organize our lives and achieve balance between work and personal life.

As Agustín Peralt explains, the book arises from all the learnings and errors they have accumulated throughout their careers, but especially from all the experience gained over years of working with hundreds of executives. Also from the contrast between the reality of both, with different cultural perspectives and ways of working, which has allowed them to reach the conclusion that the book's title captures. Although they have written it primarily thinking of those who exercise leadership in their work, the conclusions are extrapolable to anyone who works. The first thing they do is recall that believing that time and energy are infinite is a mistake, because building a career is not a sprint but a marathon. In their opinion, reflection and organization are key to facing this great challenge, and with the book they have wanted to offer a guide for those who want to perform at their best without losing themselves along the way. They state that we are in a world where speed and pressure are only growing, which is why it is essential to understand that the balance between the personal and the professional is not a luxury but an absolute necessity.

The great conclusion that hangs over these ten commandments that are always proposed is the same: we must organize ourselves consciously. It is not enough to work harder, but we must work with more productivity and effectiveness, so that we have the necessary time to counteract the work frenzy. Peralt points out that, mainly, what hinders our effectiveness is the lack of energy, not so much the lack of time, because often what we have in excess are distractions. And he reasons it: “It is evident that your energy level marks the quality of your work, but also, when you do not have enough energy and you have to face issues of certain cognitive complexity and cognitive effort, you avoid them”. We have become accustomed to constant multitasking and we have accepted it as normal, even though it is not. It is important to choose what to attend to first, without forgetting that trying to prioritize without structure and with an absence of solid habits and routines will prevent us from achieving that balance that allows us to have time for ourselves and, at the same time, be efficient at work. In a world that is spinning faster and faster, we are slowly losing the ability to stop and reflect.

Float or navigate?

Van der Schoot and Peralt establish ten commandments to raise awareness of how we organize ourselves and to embrace a good path towards effectiveness, while also including some reflection questions to see and assess the reader's current standing. It is necessary to be able to break old patterns and consciously choose another way of working and living, they explain. They assure that individual well-being rests on five main pillars: home and family, hobbies and personal relationships, health and energy, personal finances, and work. They propose dedicating time regularly to reflect on these five pillars with a personal self-assessment, so that priorities to follow can be consciously set. “You must systematize a moment each month for deep reflection on the different areas of your well-being and, in writing, take away a self-diagnosis of what is going well and what is going wrong. And, from there, decide what the proportional and coherent allocation of your time should be for the different things so that the table doesn't end up wobbly,” explains Peralt. In this regard, they differentiate between floating and navigating, and emphasize the importance of reflecting and acting with intention, because reflection without action leaves us adrift and action without reflection leads to burnout. As the authors state, in an environment where everything seems urgent, the true competitive advantage is distinguishing what is essential without being dragged along by the current. At this point, they emphasize, the importance of understanding that one must do less but better, that one must know how to delegate and say "no" when appropriate. Effectiveness consists of doing what really matters, hence the need to establish monthly priorities, plan weekly, and execute daily.

Agustín Peralt, doctor in business administration and management, points out that it is more important to manage energy well than time, and that to be truly effective we must learn to consciously manage the resources at our disposal. The lower the energy, the easier it is to fall into easy tasks and automatic patterns, and the harder it is to change habits. Therefore, rest time and daily recharge breaks are needed, during which we pay attention to a healthy diet and proper hydration, as well as physical movement and recharging emotional and cognitive energy with pleasant activities. “If you manage to disconnect –Peralt recalls–, you will be able to enjoy your best version, both at work and at home, but, in addition, you will improve your creativity and innovation.” Thus, stop and pause to be more efficient, but also to have free time that gives us space for ourselves and for our loved ones. “We must be resilient and the first basis of resilience is that you have some control over your daily life. Because if in your daily life you are already with high doses of stress and lack of control, when a general or personal circumstance of complexity comes, it will knock you down,” concludes Agustín Peralt.