Christmas rituals: excessive or necessary?

BarcelonaChristmas is just around the corner, and most people already know what they'll be doing on Christmas Eve, December 25th, Boxing Day, New Year's Day, and even Three Kings' Day. These are dates filled with parties, celebrations, and rituals that are repeated year after year, shared with family and friends. What we eat, with whom, how, and where we eat it is all part of the ritual. And so are the small details: the sprig of mistletoe that's said to bring good luck, decorating the Christmas tree, bringing out Grandma's china that we only use for these holidays, eating grapes to ring in the New Year, the same menu that's been on the menu for decades... all these small gestures carry a strong symbolic weight of community among those who participate. But is this accumulation of rituals in so few days a positive thing, or do we end up overwhelmed by so much excess?

Before trying to answer this question, it's necessary to distinguish between a ritual, a celebration, and a tradition. For Manel Delgado, professor of anthropology at the University of Barcelona, ​​"rituals are repeated behaviors related to certain circumstances that have a symbolic and instrumental nature; they are repetitive and obligatory acts." Psychologist Sylvie Pérez Lima also emphasizes that rituals are acts shared with others, "and that's important because while you participate, you know what the other person's emotions are; you connect with others because we are all in that experience." According to the psychologist, this "reinforces our identity and, especially in the case of Christmas, connects us with our roots, with a culture, and with a family history that also creates community. That's why it's important that it be shared."

"Rituals are everywhere. They are strange and beautiful at the same time, symbolic, they can have an arbitrary aspect, and they are everywhere." This is according to Dimitris Xygalatas, an anthropologist at the University of Connecticut, an expert on the subject and author of several books, in an interview published by the newspaper The Washington Post Speaking about the importance of rituals, he emphasizes that throughout our lives we participate in countless such acts—from birthday parties to weddings, funerals, graduations, and official inaugurations—and that these have a very deep historical origin, even though some are part of modern celebrations. "The moment when the first humans ceased to be a sum of individuals and became a group was when they began to dance around a bonfire," as a rite of unity and community, this professor explains.

But are all Christmas rituals excessive? According to Delgado, "although daily life is full of rituals, even small ones, Christmas is a time when many accumulate, and this reminds us of the extent to which we are connected. During the Christmas holidays, we experience an acceleration, both in the frequency and intensity of our social interactions." This expert explains that many people participate "voluntarily," since, as he says, "rituals have the trick of becoming desirable and are also linked to the social nature of human beings." Pérez Lima sees benefits, even though Christmas involves a huge accumulation of events in just a few days. She explains that despite the excess, "they provide us with stability, they give us a certain sense of calm and immobility, especially in a world that moves very fast, changes a lot, and is full of rushing."

And what about those who don't like Christmas?

But there are also many people who don't like Christmas, who don't enjoy the celebrations or the rituals that are repeated during the holidays, and who have a difficult time. It's one of the most emotionally charged times of the year, with a flood of very intense emotions concentrated in just over two weeks, and this can be too much for some. Happiness, sadness, guilt, excitement, love, and longing alternate at an extraordinary speed, and it's hard to process this tangle of emotions without becoming overwhelmed. "Christmas is a very sensitive time and can be difficult," explains the psychologist, but she points out that "the rituals associated with Christmas have benefits even if we don't like them," and details how this positive aspect works: "The ritual gives us calm and stability because it allows us to prepare ourselves emotionally. We already know what it's like because it's repeated every year, no matter how much we dislike it." The psychologist explains that the holidays are especially difficult for people who have lost a loved one, as the emptiness becomes much more palpable. However, she points out that "the ritual itself allows for that emptiness, makes it visible, and creates space for it to form, and that, however painful it may be, is also beneficial. And they know in advance that others feel it too. This is painful, but it's healthy and positive, even though it hurts."