Children, teenagers, and grandparents: how to take a family trip without dying in the attempt

BarcelonaMany families decide to get together on vacation and take a trip together to strengthen ties and enjoy the good weather. It's no surprise, then, that people of very different ages and life situations spend a few days sharing time and space together: grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, parents, teenagers, and children. While these days can be very enriching and provide many fond memories, they can also be a source of conflict and tension that needs to be managed.

To begin with, the age differences and personal tastes of each person must find a balance in order to feel comfortable. The needs of the children and adolescents in the family are not the same as those of aunts and uncles or grandparents, for example. "The ideal is to leave almost nothing to improvisation and plan time and activities so that everyone can have their own space," explains Mon Tur, a lawyer, family mediator, and coachThis also means that it's not always necessary to do all the activities as a group. "If the uncle wants to see museums and the teenager wants to do something else, they don't always have to go together. You can also agree to do one type of activity in the morning and another in the afternoon," the mediator continues. Therefore, it's important to plan the trip in detail and always with the consensus of the entire family. This means that all members must contribute and be clear about what they want to do and what they don't, and at what pace.

When older people are on the trip, they should also be given time to rest and interact with others in a calm and serene manner. A good idea would be to set aside time to play cards or other board games with the whole family; it's also good for their cognitive health.

Be well prepared

On the other hand, when there are children and adolescents in the family, it is important that the other members, especially the parents, have patience and flexibility. "We often have unrealistic expectations, which frustrates us and prevents us from enjoying our vacation," explains Montse Busquets, a health psychologist, educational psychologist, and co-director of the TREC Psychology Clinic. That's why she recommends involving them in the planning and even having them participate in packing. "All of this gives them security and emotional stability. A child who knows what's going to happen is less likely to make a scene, and having a teenager have a say in what they want to do will help them avoid constantly saying they're bored," Busquets emphasizes.

During the trip, you also have to consider variables such as hunger, sleepiness, and heat, which can always be triggers that activate discomfort, tantrums, and bad moods. Therefore, when traveling with children, "you have to be prepared with snacks and one kit "Emotional emergency supplies, such as stories, toys, or music," the psychologist continues. "Your children are children here and on the other side of the world, and they won't change just because they've taken a plane. This means they can have moments of crisis, just like when they cry because you didn't bring them a chocolate sandwich after school," she continues.

As much as possible, the ideal is to maintain similar routines in their daily lives to create a certain structure, making frequent stops to rest and eat, and organizing short activities. This helps them prepare and reduce moments of crisis," says Busquets. On the other hand, with adolescents, it's important to respect their pace and space. "We must be able to give them spaces of supervised autonomy whenever possible and involve them so they can decide what they would like to do," she continues.

Consensus and flexibility

Generally, according to the psychologist, on these types of trips with people of different generations, all members must accept that there will be unforeseen events and things that won't go as they'd like, but it's precisely here where our patience and flexibility will take center stage. "Preparing ourselves mentally for these moments will help us manage them better," she points out.

It's also important to be aware that not all family members will always be completely in agreement with the idea of the trip. This is especially true when traveling with in-laws. In this sense, mediator Mon Tur believes that agreements should be made with the couple before the trip. "You can decide that this year you'll take the family trip, but the next year you'll do something else. That way you're more prepared," she explains.

However, when spending a few days together as a family, there may be moments when the situation becomes tense. This usually occurs especially when one of the family members has organized or decided on a large part of the planning. In the worst cases, arguments can arise unexpectedly and uncontrollably. Given this, Tur recommends putting the brakes on and finding another time to talk things over calmly. "It's better to stop, think, and see how everything can be reorganized before continuing the discussion," she says. It's also necessary to discern whether the argument makes sense for the trip, that is, whether it's related to a specific point in the trip or not. "If it affects the trip, it's best to resolve it early. But if the argument is about internal family conflicts, it's better to leave it for when you return from vacation," she points out.

Ultimately, when we're planning a trip with the whole family, we must be aware that there will be moments of all kinds and that it will be impossible to control everything. And, above all, everything doesn't have to be perfect, because the important thing will be being together and creating new memories.

What should be taken into account?

Choosing the destination

When planning a trip for several generations of the same family, it's essential to choose a destination that offers engaging activities suitable for all ages. This means looking for places where both grandparents and adults, as well as children, can find leisure, relaxation, and entertainment options. When in doubt, a recommended alternative is a cruise, as they are usually designed to meet the needs of all family members. There's also the option of going to a family resort with services and activities for different age groups, from daycare centers and mini-clubs to relaxation areas for the elderly.

Duration of the trip

It's important to ensure the trip's duration is balanced without becoming exhausting. If it's too long, it can be exhausting, especially for young children and the elderly. It's also important to avoid overly busy days. It's best to avoid excessively long itineraries or those with numerous stops, as constant travel can cause stress and discomfort. An ideal option is to establish a fixed base and take excursions from there, taking advantage of the time to rest between trips.

Adapted accommodation

Accommodations should be comfortable, accessible, and designed for the specific needs of the group. For example, if there are grandparents with limited mobility, it's important to ensure there are no unnecessary stairs or architectural barriers. If there are children, it's helpful to have play areas. Vacation apartments, on the other hand, are a very good option, as they allow for maintaining certain routines, such as cooking or having lunch in peace, and contribute to creating a more welcoming and family-friendly atmosphere.

Healthy food

Food is also a fundamental aspect. When traveling in a group, it's helpful to find restaurants with varied menus tailored to different diets or tastes. Furthermore, being able to buy food and cook at the accommodation helps maintain a balanced diet and control schedules. Eating together is also an excellent opportunity to share and strengthen bonds.

Accessibility

Travel comfort is key. If any family member has mobility difficulties, it's important to check whether the places you want to visit have ramps, elevators, or accessible restrooms. You should also consider the destination's public transportation system and whether it's easy to get around with a stroller, cane, or wheelchair.

Schedules and free time

Good planning shouldn't be rigid. It's important to leave room for improvisation, relaxation, and spontaneous activities. It's also advisable to reserve time for family games, such as board games, creative activities, and even cooking together. These shared moments help create positive memories and foster connection between generations.