Mercè Mascaró: "I never tried to mother my partner's daughters."

BarcelonaIn the summer, we move into our house in Alt Empordà, and the children attend summer camps in a nearby town. This allows them to make friends in the area and gain a broader perspective on people and life in general. All of this changes the pace of our children. In August, Gil will be 14, and many things are changing within him. As a mother, it's up to me to give him the space he needs.

After the sea It is a story of cleaning and grandparents.

— When I was little, I spent July in Vilanova y Geltrú with my siblings and my cousin at my grandparents' house, because my parents worked. I have vivid memories of those summers. Besides the summers, in Barcelona we also lived on the same landing as my grandparents, and the doors were always open. When I was sick, I would stay at their house, where there was a different kind of rhythm. I remember when I was little, I always said that when I grew up I wanted to be a grandmother.

What were you doing with grandma?

— We took the number 14 bus to "go down" to Barcelona, ​​we went to the cathedral, he explained to me that he'd gotten married in the crypt, we went to Las Golondrinas. That was the life I wanted to lead when I grew up.

And as an adult you have lived with two non-biological daughters.

— I started a relationship with Joan when I was 27, and he was already the father of an 8- and 5-year-old. It was a bit of a shock. I felt comfortable, and so did they. We've always understood each other well, and I like to think that my relationship with them has enriched them, that they've had someone close to them that they can trust, with whom they can communicate openly. I've learned to apply the same common sense with my children. Luckily, they also have older sisters who play a very important role in their development.

Tell me about a difficult moment.

— This year, in just five months, my children have lost their grandparents, grandmother, and in-laws. It has been, and still is, a difficult time, filled with grief, pain, and uncertainty. We're not used to talking about our children. It's also wonderful.

Often, we adults are more affected than we children.

— I agree. As a mother, and all of us as adults, we should learn a lot from children's ability to bounce back and move forward. They don't cling to things. They're freer. Sometimes, instead of trying to pass on our way of doing things to them, it would be good for us to be quiet and observe our children. They have less flawed mechanisms. They're brighter.

Keep quiet, what great advice.

— I was once told that it was important to be quiet, give space, and listen. Often, children don't tell us what's wrong because we don't give them the space they need, because we take up too much space as parents. You have to embrace in silence, and suddenly, when you do this and see that it works, your child may start telling you things that are happening to them.

We have too many theories, we think we are too important.

— As a mother, I have the challenge of always keeping the line of communication open. It's necessary for them to trust me. They need to know they can come to me if something happens to them. The fact that they don't see me as a superhero helps. I'm a normal person, just like them, and I make mistakes too.

One last thought.

— I try to put things into perspective. I think twice about whether what I want to say is that important. I don't want to spend all day complaining about the same things.