Jaume Funes: "I don't agree that schools shouldn't do anything with cell phones."

BarcelonaToday, one of the greatest educational challenges facing families and teachers is the relationship adolescents have with screens. The digital world is part of their lives, and it is where they also live their adolescence, whether we like it or not. Jaume Funes, psychologist, educator, and journalist, author of several books—including the best-selling Love when I least deserve it... because that's when I need it most. (2018) – returns with Not without my cell phone (2025). A thought-provoking book on how to educate adolescents in the digital world and offers useful strategies for parents and teachers, always prioritizing educational support over prohibition.

What should we keep in mind when giving a cell phone to a teenager for the first time?

— The problem is that parents have turned the device into the problem, when what they should be seeing is that, from a young age, their children already have a digital universe. It's when they reach adolescence that, as in other areas, they begin to develop a level of autonomy that worries parents. The question is how they manage and experience the autonomy of having a cell phone.

So what can we tell them?

— They need to understand that for us, cell phones aren't a danger, but rather a very powerful tool that we'd like to discuss with them. They can't just do whatever they want, or install all the apps they want. Regulations need to be introduced and explained; there's no need to say they'll be able to do it when they're older. I also want to point out that discussing this in the first year of secondary school isn't the same as discussing it in the fourth year of secondary school. It should be a progressive process in which what interests us isn't the cell phone, but the digital life they lead.

As parents, we are concerned about what they do and how they use their cell phones.

— And we have no idea what they're doing. Parents think that if there's no cell phone, there's no problem, or if they don't watch porn, everything's under control. But do they know if their children know how to navigate the internet? Do they know if they just go with the first idea that comes to mind or if they research the information they receive?

Teaching a teenager how to use a cell phone is not easy.

— Having conflicts with teenagers is inevitable. From there, it's necessary to make agreements with them, keeping in mind that an agreement with a teenager lasts thirty seconds and that we'll have to make agreements again, and we'll probably argue. The key is knowing why we fight and what we shouldn't.

Should we trust them to use it responsibly?

— Instead, we should be curious about what they're doing, let them explain things to us, and allow ourselves to be fooled. We should know that they're only going to show us part of their digital profile, but not the whole thing. Therefore, it's important that before the age of 16, they've already learned some competencies and skills about the digital world. They should know, for example, that using AI isn't about avoiding homework, but rather that they should learn to think and work using artificial intelligence.

We are also afraid that their entire world and friends are only in the digital sphere.

— When something new comes out, we always believe that what came before was better. There's no point in comparing it. The virtual and physical worlds are real, so today, building identity is impossible without the digital world. Ultimately, the discussion is whether, apart from the digital world, adolescents have other spaces where they have activities and relationships. If they only have a virtual universe, then there is a difficulty.

How can we control their use of their phones less without being a nuisance?

— We will always be annoying. However, we must be aware that adolescents never tolerate inconsistency or hypocrisy. If they see us glued to our phones, we can't ask them not to. We must make it clear that their entire life won't be spent on a screen, but neither will ours. In the end, what matters isn't how much time they spend online, but what they do when they're online. They may be on it for a short time, but watch something completely destructive. Given this, it's worth considering: what other behavior is there to replace it? Probably, if they stop kicking the ball all day, they'll be kicking something else.

Should school be the place where all these digital skills are learned?

— Yes, and I don't agree that schools shouldn't do anything with cell phones, because it creates the image that learning is a boring process, and that when you're having fun, you can do whatever you want. This is dangerous. It can't be that, at night, teenagers share their homework with their friends on their cell phones, and the next day, cell phones are banned. Students are aware that what cell phones do is infinitely more powerful than what exists in schools. Ultimately, the schools that work are those that have the capacity to connect shared technology with various tools like cell phones.