An absolute lack of respect

Truth, respect, and loyalty have become symbols of weakness. This was stated by the psychiatrist Léon Wurmser and is adopted by Byung-Chul Han in the essay No Respect: A Social Crisis (Edicions 62). Donald Trump, the most powerful man in the world, perfectly embodies lies, mockery, and disloyalty: shamelessness (lack of shame) or, as the author puts it, the "demoralizing hyper-moralism" of an arrogant petulant. Right now, one only needs to see what he is doing with Ukraine.

Where is this inversion of values best reflected? On social media, where "what dominates is not altruism, but blind selfishness." "Humanism has not led to the shift toward altruism, but toward narcissism. Instead of love, resonance, and empathy, hatred and resentment prevail. Social networks are overflowing with lynchings and hate speech," says the South Korean thinker based in Germany.

Manners are important. Faced with a smile and a frank, face-to-face look, it is initially difficult—or more difficult—to respond with anger and distrust. Face-to-face dialogue, with its rituals, keeps mockery and insult at bay. "Chats, anonymous and faceless, can be considered diametrically opposed to the coffeehouses of the 18th century, which were defined by ritualized socialization and courtesy," writes Han. The loss of polite manners and kind gestures—a "good morning," letting an elderly person pass—generate, or used to generate, civility. Beauty begets beauty. The lack of basic and minimal respect, of attention toward the other, gives rise to contempt.

Where does this current lack of respect come from? According to Byung-Chul Han, it is the fruit of the triumph of the individual over the idea of community, a loss that was gestated in the transition from a society ordered by a sense of justice and the idea of the common good—in Keynesian and social democratic times—to the neoliberal society based on concepts of performance and gain, as in the series Squid Game."The winner takes it all". What counts is money and power; pure Trumpism. The losers are left with nothing and end up directing their aggression against everyone, including themselves. They are consumed by their own fury. Hence, they are seduced by the resentful and nihilistic discourses of the far-right, its destructive individualistic revolution, and its search for and magnification of enemies: the political class, bureaucrats, immigrants, Muslims...

What has become of solidarity among those who could not make it, the old class consciousness? Or of the compassion of those above for those below, the ancient Christian charity? Today, the predominant attitude consists of looking out brazenly for oneself. The others will manage on their own: I don't believe in anything or anyone. The world is a jungle. And all this, of course, is incompatible with respect for the losers, who are blamed for their misfortune. The sense of community, of empathy with the different or the marginalized, is at an all-time low. In reality, we are facing a massive lack of respect, kindness, and tact. Instead of tact, there is mistreatment. Collective life is once again resembling the atavistic survival of the fittest. Social ties have weakened, narcissistic egos have strengthened.

The digital reality of social networks has been decisive in this dehumanization. In a spiral of acceleration, the type of communication that is established is by means of brief and direct messages, for or against, black or white. There is no room for kind discretion, for good manners, for respectful and nuanced dialogue, for doubt. Putting oneself in the other's shoes? No way! "People entrench themselves behind their opinions, which they confuse with their identity," summarizes Han. This way there is no way to build a democratic dialogue. "Society is disintegrating into digital tribes that insult and fight each other," he points out, while warning us that freedom is only possible from respect for those who think differently, not from polarized combat. Today, "digital tribes" behave like the fanatical mobs of the past: they acclaim their own leader and stone their enemies.

We are falling into the Trumpist trap of a world of enemies instead of a world of friends. True friendship is built on respect and the acceptance of difference. True democratic politics, too. Authority requires respect, responsibility, and trust. The alternative to authority is authoritarianism.