In the beginning, everything is rosy. You find it adorable how they eat fruit, how they leave their shoes in the hall, or even how they snore. But then comes cohabitation, the famous trial by fire, and suddenly what you found endearing causes you a monumental ick.

The big question in first-year psychology is: is human behavior determined by genetics or context? The answer is, basically, a bit of both, so I've just saved you four years of a degree.

If there were a mathematical formula for a relationship to work, we would have patented it years ago. But love has the bad habit of resisting recipes. Nevertheless, there are theories that, without providing absolute answers, help us understand why some relationships thrive and others end up deflating.

There's a question I often ask: does anyone remember seeing a clitoris in their school anatomy book? I don't. Instead, there were penises, testicles, uteruses, ovaries, and fallopian tubes. The clitoris, simply, wasn't there. As if it didn't exist.

When we think about menopause, the same words often come to mind: hot flashes, vaginal dryness, decreased libido. It seems like sexuality is inevitably headed for decline. But what if what's ending isn't sexuality itself, but a specific way of understanding it?

It is one of the most common questions regarding sexuality at a given moment in life. And also one that generates the most pressure. When can we have relations again? As if there were a specific day on the calendar when the body would lift the blinds and say: "That's it, everything is back to how it was before."

The G-spot is a bit like the Holy Grail of sexuality. It's been talked about for decades, and yet it remains surrounded by myths. For many years, we were told that there was a magic spot inside the vagina that allowed women to reach orgasm through penetration. And, honestly, this idea fit very well with a completely coitocentric model, which needed to justify that penetration should be the center of female pleasure.

Whenever I visit a couple with children, I pay attention. Do they have a lock on the bedroom door? It might seem like a strange obsession, but for me, it's a small detail loaded with meaning. Because putting a lock on a door isn't just installing a mechanism; it's setting a boundary and protecting a space of intimacy.

There is a phrase I would like us to stop repeating once and for all: "It's normal for sex to hurt". They have sold it to us in many ways: that the first time is like that, that if you haven't had sex in a while it's normal for it to hurt, that it will pass, that you just need to relax... And, without realizing it, we have ended up assuming that pain is part of sex.

Perhaps you've heard of it, or perhaps its vintage name sounds more familiar: sadomasochism. But BDSM is much more than an imaginary world loaded with leather, myths, and misunderstandings. Under these acronyms are grouped erotic practices such as bondage, discipline, domination, submission, sadism, and masochism. And, above all, there is an indispensable condition: consent.

The answer is simple: never. It's never too early to start talking about sexuality with children. In fact, the sooner we do it, the better.

Many times when we lack desire we think it is because there are no things that are exciting us. Because our partner no longer attracts us, because we are asexual –oh, how many times have I heard that word used incorrectly!–, because we are not very interested in the subject… But there is something we do not see, and that is that when we talk about desires not everything is about impulses, but also about brakes.

Often in consultation I encounter an idea that repeats itself much more than we would like: people, especially girls, who explain that during sex they “see themselves from the outside”. As if, instead of living the experience, they were observing themselves in the third person, paying attention to how they move, whether they are doing it well, how their body looks, the light, the posture. This has a name: spectatoring, or the spectator effect. 

I hope I don't ruin anyone's day with this statement, but no, love can't do it all.

Most of us will remember the scene from the movie The Intouchables where the protagonist reaches orgasm through ear stimulation. But... to what extent is this real?

Masturbating while in a relationship has, for a long time, been a controversial topic. As if having a partner should mean giving up one's own sexuality. And precisely, we know that masturbation is healthy, just as it is to know oneself and to maintain one's own sexuality.

This is a question that is a trap in itself. Many times, in consultation, requests related to this arrive: to recover the flame and, consequently, to return to how it was before.

For years they have sold us a fairly concrete idea of sexual desire: that it appears on its own, by magic, when the relationship is going well and there is chemistry. But reality is a bit more complex. And understanding this can prevent a lot of relationship anxiety.

There are couples who end up functioning as an indivisible pack. They do everything together, share all plans, the same friends, the same hobbies and, over time, it even seems they have developed the same personality. This is what we call fusion relationships: relationships in which, at times, it is difficult to know where one person ends and the other begins.

For years we have heard that sex is a biological need. Like eating, sleeping, or breathing. But beware: it is a myth. No one has ever died from not having sex.