In vitro child and genetic mourning

We read in theNow Balearic Islands this headline: "Finding out at 37 that we are the daughter of a sperm donor made me go through a very traumatic process.". This is said by a woman with a fictitious name, who also explains that she has had to "go through a genetic duel alone", as if "a part of her had died", she says. And she adds: "I looked at myself in the mirror and it was hard to recognise myself". She also does not understand why "only the private consultation where the parents will have her progenitor" (she calls the donor that).

I can't put myself in her shoes, of course, but I don't understand it very well. It's true that imagining an individual who goes to a clique at the Fertilguay clinic, perhaps with a porn magazine, to carry out the work that will make your presence in the world possible isn't very stimulating. But it's no more stimulating to imagine your father and mother striking those positions that Sylvia Plath so pathetically and brilliantly described in bed or in the El Corte Inglés locker room the day you were conceived. "Genetic grief" because your parents couldn't have children and they did it that way? When the woman says she doesn't recognize herself in the mirror and it's as if a part of her has died, I try to understand her. Does she feel like orphans or children of rape? Is hers perhaps more intense?

Modern life brings us modern traumas, which we often see reflected in documentaries or podcasts where the word brave It's often called that. The surprising thing about these demands for rights from children toward their parents is that I thought we'd moved beyond the biology debate. It's your father who fathers you. But only fathers say that phrase. Children, as you can see, attach undue importance to biology, which must cause great "genetic mourning" to those who have acted as "parents," but they won't say so in case they're accused of cultural appropriation and sued for psychological violence.