You already know that in August I'll stop talking about the economy to write about other things in life. This week I want to dedicate this column to what happens when people oppose a certain decision whose consequences are inevitable and unintended.
In these situations, we sometimes consider giving in, precisely because of the pressure we're facing. When those exerting emotional pressure are family members, the issue becomes even more complicated. Emotional blackmail, they call it. We don't want to be on bad terms with those we love most, and we risk giving in to things that go against our own criteria and values. Often, we end up giving in completely or partially. Especially with children in their teens and young adulthood, who are the ones who exert the most pressure.
Just this week, I experienced a similar family situation. Standing firm against everyone was making me tired, discouraged, and uneasy. I was in a bad mood right in the middle of the holidays. And I reached a point where I realized that both stopping and continuing to fight weren't getting anywhere. So I changed my attitude. I began to live it lightly, without anger or demands. With joy, even despite the grimaces. And suddenly, the whole environment began to adjust. The people around me moved. And the situation, though not entirely resolved, began to breathe.
Sometimes changing your attitude is more useful than changing your decision. It's also said that attitude defines your character, character defines your habits, and habits define your destiny. And I don't think that's an exaggeration. Our way of reacting to difficulties has more consequences than we realize.
When something goes wrong, of course we feel frustrated. We're human. But it's good to stop and ask ourselves: What can I solve? And whatever is solvable, we address it. What isn't, we approach with an attitude that maintains good spirits, and if possible, a sense of humor. It's not always achieved, but it helps a lot. Most of our interactions depend on that disposition. When we maintain good spirits, the people around us respond better. Doors open. Solutions appear. The atmosphere changes. There's an invisible force in those who cheerfully confront the bad mood of others.
I don't pretend to be an emotional guru. I just want to share that when life takes a turn for the worse, the key isn't to avoid the inevitable consequences, but to prevent them from turning into discouragement and bad mood.
A willing attitude, courage and joy always rescue us.
