Joan Berlanga: "What we really teach our children is who we are."

BarcelonaThe book is about a dog on his last legs who dedicates himself to remembering and reflecting on life. I try to highlight two elements: the value of what we have experienced as a vital heritage, and also the small things, the gentle rain of everyday life, which often go unnoticed but end up being the essence of our lives.

Parrac is a dog about to die.

— The book talks about the end of life, about death, with the intention of presenting it as a final stage of life that must be managed and accepted. I think this is a good idea in a children's novel, because there should be room for stories that offer distraction through calm reflection.

I have a lot of questions about children and dogs.

— I'm sorry, but I can't answer that question because I've never had a dog. I chose a dog as the narrator because it allowed me to have a privileged observer of a family.

What kind of father are you?

— I think I've been an involved father, but a bit too rigid, especially during the early years. I wasn't the same kind of father when my first child was born as I was when they were both in high school. This process of continuous, personal, and contextual change has been very fun for me because I like change and because I'm excited about starting new things. At the same time, understanding that the context is changing by definition has helped me understand that it's all about riding the waves as best I can.

Tell me about a specific difficulty you have overcome.

— The current context is especially difficult because the arrival of the internet is generating profound and structural changes in all areas, changes that are causing a great deal of disorientation. Managing a child's education becomes an extremely difficult challenge that, in many cases, ends up causing anxiety. Without going any further, I would say that this same supplement Creatures He is a child of that context and wants to be a help in this sense.

In your case, what worries you?

— I would highlight two other personal difficulties. On the one hand, my tendency to be overly responsible sometimes made me overly rigid, prioritizing what was theoretically correct over what the real-life situation perhaps called for. On the other hand, I've found it difficult to try to educate people in values that aren't the prevailing ones. Swimming against the current was very exhausting, but giving in to certain social dynamics that were far removed from the world I wanted also made me feel bad.

And what did you do?

— I did what I could, but in retrospect, I think I sometimes fell into a well-intentioned, but unacceptable, perfectionism. If I were to start over, I would approach my children's education in a more relaxed manner, letting things flow more. But, as is often the case, we learn only when we've experienced things.

And that attitude of letting things flow more, didn't you already feel it when you had your second child?

— With my second child, I tried to follow the same principles as with my first. But from very early on, Arnau made it clear that he had his own personality. The formulas that worked with my eldest son didn't work with my youngest. This helped me understand that even though I tried to have everything under control, they were independent people who would eventually do their own thing.

I suspect that when parents throw in the towel, their children begin to be free.

— I really like the current stage. The oldest lives in Barcelona in a shared apartment, and the youngest still lives at home. They're now two adults with whom I can talk about everything and spend quality time with. However, even though they're doing more of their own thing and I see them less, I don't completely distance myself from their lives, and sometimes I perhaps overly focus on them because I'm very long-suffering and protective. But I don't get too attached either, because at this point I believe that parents and children should accept both their strengths and weaknesses.

One last thought.

— My big takeaway from parenting, and the only advice I'd dare to give, is that we should try to do it in contexts where the best version of ourselves can emerge, because what we really teach our children is who we are.