To be alone or to feel alone, that is the question

BarcelonaWhen I separated a few years ago, I began to truly value the time alone I had regained. I was able to read a lot again and, above all, write. One thing I've been clear about ever since is that I wouldn't live with a partner again, since my time alone is one of the things I value most and need to have a good quality of life.

The World Health Organization identified loneliness as a significant health issue in 2019, as it can have negative consequences ranging from depression to cardiovascular problems and premature death. Since then, media articles and public health campaigns warning about these dangers have multiplied; but this narrative, despite being well-intentioned, can paradoxically end up reinforcing the problem, as it influences people's negative beliefs about being alone. Columbia University researcher Micaela Rodríguez has conducted several studies that show there is an important difference between being alone and feeling lonely, and that people who adopt a positive view of time alone can experience significant benefits such as emotional regulation, stress reduction, and even restoration.

Therefore, the key is not to avoid being alone, but to change our perception of this experience. When positive beliefs are cultivated, time alone becomes an opportunity for personal growth, creativity, and autonomy. The media has a responsibility to promote balanced coverage of the stories they publish; therefore, it is important to highlight both the potential risks of chronic social isolation and the benefits of well-managed time alone.

Individual time and social connection

Since we're here to talk about literature, I'd like to highlight reading as an individual activity that trains us in autonomy and, at the same time, in empathy, as it allows us to establish an emotional connection with the characters, thus transforming solitary time into a rich and bonding experience. We've discussed on other occasions how book clubs and creative writing workshops combine this dual aspect of individual time and social connection, which can have a double positive impact: they help reduce stress and loneliness while creating spaces for personal and creative growth. Along these lines, writing a diary or book reviews or participating in individual reading parties can be activities that stimulate imagination and problem-solving and, in addition, help build a personal narrative that counteracts the effects of a negative perception of loneliness.

For me, my time alone is precious: I think better, it helps me regulate my emotions, and it allows me to balance work and my literary career. I can confirm this, I wouldn't trade it even if Michael Fassbender came and proposed to me, wearing only a fig leaf and speaking Catalan richer than Ramon Llull!