The 8,357 secrets of longevity

As every year around this time, I dedicate an article to the fantastic science section of The SpanishThis year I've noticed a fixation on longevity: dozens of articles reveal the secret to living past 100. One of these articles interviews a guru who claims the trick is to cultivate a vegetable garden, which guarantees the physical activity necessary to keep the body running smoothly. But a Valencian expert also maintains that "practicing gratitude" leads to a longer and better life. Another self-proclaimed expert claims to have lowered his biological age by fifteen years by giving up juice and eating only whole fruit. Yet another says the key is to eat little red meat until age 65. A cardiologist, on the other hand, says that only physical exercise slows down aging. Meanwhile, 110-year-old Engraciano González reveals that the key—like Eugenio's joke—is... That's not why it won't be– is never getting angry. But Pepita, 106, reveals that she eats bread with wine and sugar for an afternoon snack. Meanwhile, Teresa, 112, proudly explains that she only takes one pill a day. And Jesús Rodríguez, 110, shares his secret: drinking three glasses of wine and eating both of them. But Carme Noguera, 111, declares: "I have coffee with milk and cookies for breakfast every morning." These are just a few examples of the dozens and dozens of similar articles, just this year, 2025.

I've already bought the cookies, the kiwis, the jugs of Costers del Segre wine, a bread maker, and 200 kilos of sugar for an afternoon snack of ashes. Secrets of bread soaked in oil (or wine) are clearly absurd. In the end, genetics rules, and a long life is always the result of many factors. And here would come a sarcastic remark to cap off the article, but of course, I'm not going to argue; I'd like to meet my great-grandchildren.