Marcos Franz: "During 'Merlí' I had super aggressive behaviors with fans because I was completely altered"

Marcos Franz (Mataró, 1993) became famous thanks to his participation in Merlí, where he played Gerard. It was his gateway to television and the world of acting, but he did not enjoy it because at that time he was trapped in a manipulative relationship that destroyed him psychologically. The actor now speaks about this experience in the book Cuando dejé de ser yo (Alienta Editorial).

In your book you explain that when you started doing Merlí it was, in theory, your great professional moment. You experienced it as your worst moment. Why?

— Yes, because just when we were starting the rehearsals for Merlí, which we did at a summer camp house, I connected with a person with whom it seemed I would have a relationship that was going to be one of colleagues and friends. We got together creatively because he had studied screenwriting and I was an actor, and it seemed that perhaps we could understand each other, create projects and things. And, little by little, over the months, it all became quite murky, quite dark. The guy did it very well, very slowly, he didn't spit it all out at me in five minutes. He explained to me that he came from a family that was in circles of power, in certain elites that controlled the world. He explained to me that all the artists, musicians, actors, scientists, people who are part of the history and the narrative of humanity come from there and that they are all controlled to transmit certain discourses to society. All of this shook me up a lot, it made me think that the world I had known until that moment was completely false, that everything was artificial. I disconnected a lot. It generated depersonalization and, finally, depression.

You define this relationship as one of manipulation and psychological abuse. Did it take you a long time to reach this conclusion?

— Yes, I didn't reach that definition until after a long journey of leaving this person, blocking him and going away alone, to Madrid. Finally, when I returned here and went to therapy, I did realize that it had been a relationship of psychological abuse.

Did he in some way control how you saw the world?

— Yes, exactly. I depended on him 100%. I felt that everything was hostile. He told me it was better not to listen to my colleagues from the series, not to listen to the directors, because they didn't know the true history of humanity and how the machinery worked. They were asleep people and he, on the other hand, did know all that. He told me they were pawns of society and that I shouldn't listen to them because otherwise I would end up like them. If I really wanted to free myself, I had to listen to him and follow him. This made me doubt everyone, hate everyone, and only be under this person's feet. I didn't listen to anyone else.

In the midst of all this, Merlí made you famous. Was it easy to manage the popularity in that context?

— It was very difficult because several components came together. On one hand, there was the anxiety that the fanatical youth phenomenon can give you a little, which wasn't the most pleasant thing in the world. It is not the same for an adult person to recognize you and congratulate you on your work as it is for a group of girls screaming and chasing you. That, added to all the anxiety and paranoia I had... Really, I had some super aggressive behaviors with fans, yelling at them and telling them that I didn't want to take a photo, for them to leave me alone, that they didn't know anything about me. I was completely unhinged.

Throughout this descent into hell, was there anyone in your circle who realized what was happening to you?

— Yes, in the book I talk a lot about two people. One is Adrian Grösser, who is also an actor from Merlí. He did meet this person face to face and was one of the first people who told me: "Run away from this guy however you can". He tried to help me as much as he could, but I was very trapped. And the other is Mauri, a very close friend of mine since adolescence who also helped me quite a bit to try to make me see the reality of things, but I was completely blind.

Did your parents also get to know him? How did they experience it?

— Yes, my parents met him and my mother made some comment to me, but it didn't go any further. With my family I tried very hard to hide it. It was very strange, because, on one hand, I firmly believed in this person's discourse, but then when I was with my family I tried not to let it show. He also told me to try not to talk about this with anyone and to keep quiet about it because they would label me as crazy. His narrative was that I was not crazy, but rather that I was waking up.

The scenario you are describing has points of connection with cult-like behaviors. Is that so?

— Yes, I felt like I was in a cult, yes. But I wasn't in a group, nor was there a room, or a lodge, or whatever they call it. It was a relationship between two people, in which he was my master. And we talked constantly on WhatsApp, he would warn me about what to do, what not to do, how to dress, how not to dress. He controlled absolutely everything, I had no voice.

You managed to cut off contact with that person, but you continued to not be okay psychologically.

— Exactly. Cutting ties with that person does not automatically mean cutting ties with everything they have put into your head, of course. I call it the parasite. In a way, there is a parasite that continues to eat away at your head. And yes, as much as I cut ties with that person, I was still holding onto those ideas. Every day I told myself: "Don't believe him, don't pay attention to him, get this out of your head, rip it out however you can". I was constantly talking to myself, I even thought about calling him again and talking to him because I felt super lost in the world and completely alone.

During this stage you also had drug consumption problems. Was it your way of escaping from yourself?

— Yes, I consumed a lot of alcohol. Maybe I would get drunk three days a week, but beastly drunks. I would have a beer and I felt it calmed my head. Everything I did, like taking drugs such as diazepam or other substances, were patches to cover up the whole volcano I had in my head. Once the effect of the patch wore off, the pain was still there. It was a loop of falling, getting up, falling, getting up. I had to stop all that somehow.

In the book you talk about your ego and the need for power.

— As a child, I was bullied. I felt very small, very despised, very lonely, with many doubts. All of this made me easily fall for the narrative of a person who told me they could understand everything that had happened to me and who explained that it was all because of circles of power that controlled humanity. They told me: "You are a sensitive person and you are capable of accessing a higher state. You are a special person". With that narrative, they hooked me.

How was the process of writing the book?

— I started in 2019, long before therapy. When I started writing I would shake, I would cry, I couldn't talk about the subject. I would get very blocked. I stopped writing the book and started again in 2022. I started therapy in 2023, more or less, and in 2025, after two years, I felt much stronger mentally. And I said, now is the time, I wrote the book. Now I don't feel guilt, I don't feel shame, I don't feel all those emotional states that prevented me from being able to share this with the world.

Beyond this relationship of manipulation, in the book you talk about the bad time you were put through by an actor from Merlí whose real name you do not mention.

— Yes, I call him Miguel so that it doesn't resemble any of the actors' names at all. I wanted to explain it, because he is a person who also hurt me a lot, he bullied me,bullying, not only on set, but also off set. It was also one of the reasons why I became a bit disenchanted with acting and I spent some years, in fact, without working or going to castings. I mean, I spent maybe three years without dedicating myself to it.

When you see images of Merlí now, what do you feel?

— [When I see them] I react, and not entirely positively. My system still relates Merlí to all that time. And I cannot watch myself acting. In fact, the second season is the worst of all because it is when I was most involved in the relationship. I can maybe watch a scene with other actors, no problem, but if I see myself, I have a terrible time because I do not recognize myself, to be honest.