"The first welcome is like having your first child."

BarcelonaFostering a child is a huge emotional challenge. Even with hope and enthusiasm, fears, doubts, and insecurities arise. Currently, in Catalonia, there are 1,256 children under six years old under the care of the Directorate General for the Prevention and Protection of Children and Adolescents (DGPPIA), and only 787 families in foster care. Given this context, Mari Carmen Ruiz and José Perea's desire was clear: to accompany and give these children a second chance at life, so they can grow up in a healthy environment. Based on this premise, seven years ago they decided to become foster families.

Their first foster home came by chance. Mari recalls that at the time, in 2018, she owned a beauty salon with her daughter, and a client sent them a photo with a baby and told them that many foster families were needed. "My daughter insisted and said, 'Please, let's try it,'" and they didn't think twice: they began the interview process to become a foster family. A few months later, they established themselves as an emergency foster family—for children between 0 and 6 years old—and took in their first child.

"The first foster child is like the first child," Mari laughs, recalling that the experience was so beautiful and enriching "that it became addictive." Her father, José, reiterates: "The experience was so good that we decided to continue helping more children." Their goal was clear: to help these children, one day, become people with a future.

The first years of a child's life are essential for their development, both physical and mental. The couple realized that everything that had always surrounded them—family, home, friends—was synchronized and worked on its own. Instead, these children come from nothing and carry a backpack full of shortcomings. "There's another world beyond your bubble," they explain, and the idea of being able to offer a family and shower these children with love seemed like the best way to help them. "You realize you're contributing to a necessary support, and that fills you with satisfaction," says José.

In this first stage as an emergency foster family, from 2018 to 2022, four premature babies passed through their home. "These are children who need much more attention, more love, and greater involvement," they explain. That's why Mari and José decided to foster children just a few days old, because it's precisely at this early stage that they most need a family: "They need arms, a home," Mari emphasizes.

From emergency foster care to permanent foster care

After four emergency foster care arrangements, in 2022 they decided to take a step further and change their plan. They became a simple foster family—when the biological family cannot care for the child for a longer period—in order to permanently host the six-year-old boy they currently live with, with the aim of providing him with long-term care.

Mari and José explain to ARA what the process has been like during these first three years with their child: from emotional support and visits to psychologists to work through painful and traumatic experiences, to what it has been like for the child to emerge from the situation of hypervigilance and constant alertness and to feel safe with them. "The process has been long and full of challenges," they say.

When the child arrived at the couple's home at just three years old, he was scared of every noise: he would run away at the mere sound of the doorbell and hide around the house. The couple explains that, over the years, the transformation has been dramatic, and the child now lives fully integrated with the family. "With a lot of love, we have managed to change the aggression and transform it into affection, empathy, trust, and security," they explain. "We are very happy to have made this decision: he is our son, and we are his family."

The professional perspective: preparing, training, and supporting

Anna Agüera, social worker and coordinator of the Barcelona foster care team at the Children and Family Foundation, explains that the foster care process is a long process, but also necessary because it's a very important project. "It's essential to give the family time to think, reflect, and mature the idea, and under no circumstances should they make the decision impulsively," she warns.

The organization's goal is for families to fully understand what it means to have a new member in the family because "it's a 24/7, 365-day commitment," explains Agüera. Furthermore, it's important for families to be flexible, empathetic, and emotionally intelligent. "Fostering is a very volatile situation, and you must be able to adapt to any situation," assures Anna. "It's not just about providing love; it's about understanding and adjusting to what the child needs at any given moment."

Before being able to foster, families go through an assessment and training process that can last between four and five months, consisting of interviews, home visits, and training courses. The Foundation doesn't view it as a formality, but rather as a necessary time to reflect and mature the decision. "Fostering a child is a life project," emphasizes Agüera.

The support provided by the organization is about support. "We don't monitor children to supervise," he emphasizes, "but to ensure that the child can grow up in a healthy environment that helps heal their traumatic experiences." The goal of the foundation, which has three teams spread across Catalonia—Girona, Barcelona, and central Catalonia—and collaborates closely with the Directorate General for the Prevention and Protection of Children and Adolescents (DGPPIA) and the Child and Adolescent Care Teams (EAIA), is to ensure this is a positive experience for everyone.

A unanimous decision

Being a foster family shouldn't just be a decision made by the parents; it's a project that requires a unanimous decision from the entire family. "We always say that fostering is a family project, and that biological children should also be part of the decision," Anna emphasizes. "We all wanted to; we had no doubts," recall Mari and José, who explain that not only their children were involved, but also their cousins, nephews, and grandparents.

"My children feel like they're a brother to me and love me madly. When they see us do it with such enthusiasm and love, they experience it just the same," says Mari. And José adds that "children are what they see and what they feel, and seeing our children involved makes us think that, in addition to helping a child, we're educating them in values."

More foster families, the unfinished business

The world of foster care is often quite unknown, and consequently, society is largely unaware of the importance of supporting a child in their first years of life to give them a second chance. "As a society, we're not giving foster care a chance. On the contrary, it's a project that still generates a lot of reluctance and prejudice, stemming from ignorance," says Anna Agüera. "Many people think that fostering means suffering because the child will leave, but if we focus on the child—on their well-being and safety—the experience is very positive." "'It's priceless,'" people tell Mari and José. "But just by the way they look at you, you already feel it's priceless and you don't need any reward," says Mari. For the couple, giving a child a second chance at life "is very satisfying."

The Childhood and Family Foundation is working to increase awareness of foster care and promote it through government and other organizations. Although it is a growing trend, it is still not enough. And the data proves it. Currently, in Catalonia, there are 787 families in foster care—whether emergency and diagnostic, simple, or permanent—that is, they are not related to the child. These families foster a total of 923 children and adolescents. However, the number of children and adolescents under the guardianship of the DGPPIA is much higher: 8,932 children between 0 and 17 years of age cannot live with their family of origin. Of the total, 1,256 are children under six years of age in foster care who need to be fostered, of whom nearly 1,000 live with foster families, but 280 are in residential care because there are not enough families.

Faced with this scenario, Mari wonders what the future of society should be headed in. She is clear: "A society where children aren't in centers, but in families where they can grow up with love and protection." Therefore, she calls for and encourages new families to get involved. "We must be able to give children a chance to live in a normal family situation while their parents are unable to care for them," Agüera emphasizes.