Girls and makeup: where are the limits?

BarcelonaThe first thing Gemma Tejedor, a psychologist on the Vincles team, tells us is that a girl doesn't want to wear makeup because she sees her mother do it every morning. She urges us to break this myth because it doesn't reduce the conflict, but rather places blame on the mother. She also points out that there are an increasing number of mothers who don't wear makeup or wear very little makeup and don't give it the importance it gives other moments, while their daughters, on the other hand, want to wear makeup anyway. Therefore, she believes this correlation is a mistake. "A girl's desire to wear makeup is neither pathological nor does it come from the family model," says Tejedor.

Why do they want to wear makeup?

According to the Vincles team, symbolic play typical of certain ages implies imitation, and children increasingly have access to content where they can receive these role models. However, they also emphasize that, in the end, putting on makeup is an act of creativity, of exploring one's own identity, and another way to experiment with dressing up.

Do you want to feel beautiful?

Beyond symbolic play, Tejedor recognizes that wanting to wear makeup is a way for girls to search for their identity and femininity: appearance is one of those pillars. She compares it to the desire to wear high heels, long dresses, or handbags. Therefore, the psychologist believes we can take advantage of this situation to have conversations about appearance and help them develop their critical thinking: Why do you want to wear makeup? Does it make you feel prettier, or are you happier?

How do we address this?

Tejedor's proposal is to support the child, not prohibit or repress them, because when this censorious approach is adopted, it fuels both interest and discomfort. A balance must be sought and alternatives offered. It's important to make them understand, depending on their age, that this makeup is merely for show, and at the same time, try to diversify and even link it to self-care and relaxation. "As long as it's not an obsession, doing this activity is healthy," says Tejedor, who encourages doing it even together.

And at school, how should they approach this?

The work on this issue lies at home, as schools should neither prohibit nor censor. In fact, many teachers argue that they should not be the ones to play that role. However, they can conduct awareness workshops and provide new references to the role of women beyond jobs that have an image associated with their success, that is, women in the scientific and intellectual world. Stories with a gender perspective can also be developed to demystify feminine perfection and help break stereotypes. "Offer diverse femininities as well as new masculinities," says Tejedor, "to promote gender equality and female autonomy." Image, self-care, appearance, and other topics surrounding an increasingly sought-after femininity can be addressed in school, as can sexuality. Of course, always keeping in mind that each child develops at their own pace and that some girls develop the need to play and express themselves with makeup earlier, others later.

Is this related to hypersexualization?

When young girls want to wear makeup to look older, this is often linked to hypersexualization. In this context, it's necessary to find a certain balance and limit it, that is, to talk and reflect on the need to not rush and the appropriateness, or not, of wearing makeup to school, just as we would if elementary school girls wanted to wear bras to class. It's part of this balancing act that must be found between absolute freedom and "throwing it all away."