"We've been told that the person you love most is the only one you should desire, and that's a lie."

BarcelonaOn stage, they've placed the dining room table and chair as a symbol of their intimacy—this is where they eat, talk, argue, live—but also as a metaphor for the couple they form. "The conclusion is that we are a table and a chair. A table and a chair, Pau," says Judit Colomer (Torelló, 1991) at one point in the show. Tenderwhich premieres this Thursday at the Sala Beckett. Her stage and travel companion is Pau Vinyals (Ravós del Terri, 1986), and together they have created a play that uses their relationship as a starting point to question the legacies of patriarchy, the way we connect with each other, and the implicit rules in relationships.

"A couple arguing in front of friends creates a lot of discomfort. But we'll all find ourselves in that situation, sooner or later, if we have friends and a partner. We have to overcome that discomfort and learn together," says Vinyals. He and Colomer take this to heart and stand before the audience ready to expose the doubts and contradictions that, over eleven years, have helped them grow as a family. "We don't approach it as a therapeutic space; it's not about the audience acting as therapists." voyeurs "From our private lives. We lovingly represent ourselves to others to share the journey as a whole," Colomer points out.

Tender It's a show of autofiction, a territory Vinyals already touched upon in The pine giant (2022), for which Colomer will design the set. In fact, the pair had already worked together on previous occasions (Colomer as set designer, Vinyals as performer) on productions such as Heartache (2023), Harakiri (2022) and TOC Suite No. 6 (2019). Three years ago, they felt the urge to talk about what it means to face life together with another person and grow without limitations. This need, of course, involved doing so through theater.

Desire and Infidelity

"Within a relationship, there are many questions that go unasked out of fear. For example: 'Who do you desire?' This doesn't constitute infidelity, but it breaks with a norm of monogamy that says if you and I are together, it doesn't seem like you could desire anyone else," says Colomer, and Vinyals adds: "We've been told that the person you love most in the world is the only one you should desire, and this is a lie. Monogamous relationships are full of infidelity."

The norms and legacies of patriarchy are two of the major issues they address—with humor, sometimes even laughing at themselves—during the performance. "In a normative heterosexual couple, many rules are taken for granted. In non-monogamy, you have to talk and agree," Vinyals points out. In his work, he explains his experience as a bisexual man and recalls the moment they decided to open their relationship. They also dissect the archetypes of masculinity and how they have influenced each of them in different ways.

"Until a few years ago, I didn't feel comfortable as a man playing roles. Now we're starting to embody masculinity in a different way, but the character of a more understanding man still seems less complex," says Vinyals. On Beckett's stage, he presents himself as a deconstructed man who, nevertheless, still has much work to do. "The most painful process has been seeing that I would go down one step and there was still another, and another... The first time Judith performed her final monologue, I spent a month in terrible anguish because I didn't know how to respond to her. It's hard to accept that we can't change things at will and that we can't always fix everything," he reflects.

In the monologue in question, Colomer recounts experiences related to men that affected her deeply, but that don't define her. "Having lived through certain things doesn't mean you can't perpetuate certain behaviors in your current relationship, even if you're free from taking responsibility," she states. In this sense, the show is a lifeline thrown to the audience, encouraging them to cling to the collective and escape individualism. "Even if it's painful, if we don't talk, we won't understand each other, also as a community," Colomer emphasizes. "Pau and I have had difficult and uncomfortable conversations, but in the end, what he's always done is bring us closer together."