When our son or daughter starts school, beyond what they learn in the classroom, we expect them to make their first friends. We expect it so much that some of the questions we parents ask most when leaving school are "who did you play with?" or "who is your best friend?" Often, it is difficult for the child to answer us or resolve all these doubts because they are still too young, in Kindergarten, to explain it, and it is also common to resort to interviews with the tutors to find out. If the answer is that they play quite a lot alone or don't have a fixed group of friends, but rather play with all their classmates, some alarms might go off. But, are these concerns founded?

All testimonies in this report are real cases that have preferred to remain anonymous.If you don't play with me, I won't invite you to my party. If you want me to do that, you'll have to give me a euro. Now I'm angry (and I won't talk to you for days). You are my best friend (but I only play with you when we are alone, when we are at school, I ignore you or I even promote a vote to see who dislikes you in the class). These are seemingly innocent and typical phrases and situations for children – more so for girls – that can be a warning sign of a controlling relationship disguised as friendship.