There is a poem published in the book You look prettier when you smile, by Georgina Hudson, who says that a daughter raised by a mother unable to tune into her needs loses her voice. She learns that she cannot speak No, because this leads to rejection; that she cannot express her anger, because it condemns her to isolation; that she cannot love any other maternal figure, nor have any close friends, for fear of arousing her jealousy. She lives with the fear that her rage might explode without warning, like a volcanic flood of words or a terrifying withdrawal. Ultimately, the daughter learns that it is not safe to be herself, and so she tries to become what she thinks her mother wants her to be. This pattern does not end in childhood unless the daughter, as an adult, learns to reclaim her voice and set boundaries, which involves grieving for the mother she would have needed and never had.