I hope I don't ruin anyone's day with this statement, but no, love can't do it all.

Masturbating while in a relationship has, for a long time, been a controversial topic. As if having a partner should mean giving up one's own sexuality. And precisely, we know that masturbation is healthy, just as it is to know oneself and to maintain one's own sexuality.

This is a question that is a trap in itself. Many times, in consultation, requests related to this arrive: to recover the flame and, consequently, to return to how it was before.

If you've asked yourself this question before, there's probably a basic idea worth revisiting: sex isn't about pleasing. Or, at least, not just about that. Because when we understand sexual relations as the other person's responsibility – as if they should know exactly what we need or how to make us enjoy ourselves – it's easy to end up experiencing sex with frustration, pressure, or disappointment.

Before separating, Raúl (a fictitious name to maintain his anonymity) saw a lot of potential in dating apps and was eager to try them out. Having had the opportunity, he hasn't used them and is "far from" doing so. He wants to stop spending so many hours in front of his phone and delving into this world is precisely going in the other direction. But the truth is, he hasn't missed them. "I've met people who have interested me and people who have interested me," he says when explaining how he's handled this new situation. He also confesses that being able to experiment has been a "healthy and good motivation" for him.