Adolescence is a very complicated stage of development to accompany with serenity and empathy because it requires adults a combination of patience, listening, and constant understanding. The adolescent, submerged in a web of physical, cognitive, psychological, emotional, and social changes, often appears at home irritable and with little desire to share everything that worries or bothers them. An attitude that, far from being a personal rejection, usually reflects the need to protect oneself, to understand oneself, and to find one's own place in the world. In this context, the adult perspective becomes key: interpreting these behaviors calmly and without judgment can make the difference between raising walls or keeping communication bridges open.A family moment when talking to children stops being easy: what arose spontaneously in childhood – explaining how the day at school went, sharing worries, or asking curious questions – progressively transforms into a true odyssey, where managing to exchange more than four words without tension, argument, or anger appearing becomes a challenge that often bewilders and exhausts adults. And it is precisely in these difficult moments when parents' patience and calm can make the difference between building walls or keeping communication bridges open.

This weekend, Mada is looking after her nephews Vera and Ibai, aged nine and six, respectively. Her sister-in-law, the children's mother, is preparing for competitive exams, so she's using Saturday morning to study at the Ignasi Iglesias-Can Fabra library in Sant Andreu, while Mada takes the two children and her seven-year-old daughter, Ona, for a walk around the neighborhood. At midday, the children and their parents will all gather at Mada's house for lunch. Although they live in different neighborhoods and each cousin has a different circle of friends, both families try to see each other often. "We alternate Saturday lunches between our house and theirs," explains Mada, who emphasizes how the three children enjoy the evening the most. They also occasionally babysit for the children. "That way, the parents can enjoy some free time when we need it or when we feel like getting away without the kids," she notes. These are moments that Mada considers ideal for enriching their relationship and doing different things, "but also for learning about other routines and ways of doing things, and for them to understand that every family can have different customs and rules." In the summer, Mada's family spends the season with their caravan at the campsite, and sometimes Ona receives visits from her cousins. "All of us being there, sleeping together and playing and running around the campsite in semi-freedom is quite an adventure!" she emphasizes. Mada and her brother—Vera and Ibai's father—are from Cantabria, so during the summer they also take the opportunity to visit family. "Our other brother and our nephews David and Regina live there, and although we don't see each other as much as they'd like, when all five cousins ​​get together it's fantastic," she explains.

"Families should be aware that the relationship between siblings, beyond encouraging it to be the best possible, will depend on the personality of each sibling," says Estrella Ferreira, a professor at the Faculty of Psychology at the Autonomous University of Barcelona (UAB). Each sibling has their own personality and interests, but doing things together that everyone enjoys can be encouraged, so as not to weaken the relationship. Maria Helena Tolosa, teacher, psychopedagogue, trainer, and author ofOur daily conflicts, agrees: "It's a bond that deserves respect, but they don't have to be friends. The relationship between siblings has a degree in itself, which is different from that of friends, although if both come together it's wonderful."

There is a poem published in the book You look prettier when you smile, by Georgina Hudson, who says that a daughter raised by a mother unable to tune into her needs loses her voice. She learns that she cannot speak No, because this leads to rejection; that she cannot express her anger, because it condemns her to isolation; that she cannot love any other maternal figure, nor have any close friends, for fear of arousing her jealousy. She lives with the fear that her rage might explode without warning, like a volcanic flood of words or a terrifying withdrawal. Ultimately, the daughter learns that it is not safe to be herself, and so she tries to become what she thinks her mother wants her to be. This pattern does not end in childhood unless the daughter, as an adult, learns to reclaim her voice and set boundaries, which involves grieving for the mother she would have needed and never had.

The birth of Carla (45) and Jordi's (44) first child put a significant strain on the relationship between the couple and his mother: "Especially during the postpartum period, her lack of empathy and her desire for prominence was incredible. I didn't understand this absurd power struggle and felt it was a lack of respect." Now that Martí is 9 years old and is no longer the only clean one, the situation has eased, although some conflicts still remain. At first, Martí's mother-in-law didn't respect any of the rules that were important to Martí's parents: "She knew we didn't want him to have sugar and at 4 months old she was already giving him a croissant, she skipped sleep guidelines, if we told her he had just fallen asleep she wouldn't stop until the baby opened his eyes..." It was a challenge!