When I got pregnant the first time, I was so excited and not at all afraid. I felt connected to myself and my baby. I felt so confident and genuinely wanted to spend a lot of time with my baby when she was born. When I talked about what I was feeling, people generally looked at me strangely, as if I were crazy. I saw some women around me acting in ways that didn't resonate with me—with distance, with fatigue. I couldn't imagine myself being that kind of mother.